Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Notes........................................................................................... 97
Confidence and Abandonment .................................................... 98
Inspiration in the Attic ................................................................ 98
Unction of the Spirit ................................................................... 99
Franciscos Character, His Spirituality...................................... 100
Natural Inclinations................................................................... 102
Francisco Sees the Angel .......................................................... 103
Impressions of the First Apparition ........................................... 104
Impressions of the Second Apparition ...................................... 106
Francisco Strengthens Lucias Courage .................................... 107
Impressions of the Third Apparition ......................................... 108
Francisco in Prison ................................................................... 108
Impressions of the Last Apparitions .......................................... 110
Anecdotes And Popular Songs .................................................. 111
Francisco the Little Moralist ..................................................... 114
Francisco, Lover of Solitude and Prayer ................................... 116
Francisco Sees the Devil ........................................................... 117
Francisco and His Feathered Friends ........................................ 118
Franciscos Love and Zeal ........................................................ 119
Franciscos Illness .................................................................... 122
Franciscos Holy Death............................................................. 124
THE FOURTH MEMOIR OF SISTER LUCIA (1941) ............... 126
The Story of the Apparitions ..................................................... 126
Apparition of the Angel ............................................................ 127
Lucias Silence ......................................................................... 130
The 13th of May, 1917.............................................................. 131
The 13th of June, 1917.............................................................. 133
The 13th of July, 1917 .............................................................. 134
I have such high regard for her holiness, that I greatly esteem and
respect her and dearly cherish her memory.
Keeping Secrets
In spite of my good will to be obedient, I trust Your Excellency
to permit me to withhold certain matters concerning myself as well as
Jacinta, that I would not wish to be read before I enter eternity. You
will not find it strange that I should reserve for eternity certain secrets
and other matters. After all, is it not the Blessed Virgin Herself who
sets me the example? Does not the holy Gospels tell us that Mary kept
all things in Her heart? And who better than the Immaculate Heart
could have revealed to us the secrets of the Divine Mercy?
Nonetheless, She kept them to Herself as in a garden enclosed, and
took them with Her to the palace of the Divine King.
I remember, besides, a saying that I heard from a holy priest,
when I was only eleven years old. Like so many others, he came to
question me, and among other things, about a matter that I did not
wish to speak. After he had exhausted his whole repertoire of
questions, without succeeding in obtaining a satisfactory answer on
this subject, realizing perhaps he was touching on too delicate a
matter, the good priest gave me his blessing and said: You are right,
my child. The secret of the Kings Daughter should remain hidden in
the depths of the heart.
At the time, I did not understand the meaning of what he said,
but I realized that he approved of my manner of acting. I did not
forget his words, however, and I understand them now. This saintly
priest was at that time the vicar of Torres Novas. Little does he know
all the good these few words did for my soul, and that is why I
remember him with such gratitude. One day, however, I sought the
advice of a holy priest regarding my reserve for such matters, because
I did not know how to answer when they asked me if the most Blessed
Virgin had not told me anything as well. This priest, who was then the
vicar of Olival, said to us:
You do well my little ones, to keep the secret of your souls
between yourself and God. When they put that question to you, just
say, Yes, She did say more but its a secret. If they question you
further on this subject, think of the secret that this Lady made known
to you and say, Our Lady told us not to say anything, so for this
reason we are saying nothing. In this way you can keep your secret
under the cover of Our Ladys.
How well I understood the explanation and guidance of this
venerable old priest! I am already taking too much time with these
preliminaries and Your Excellency will be wondering what is the
purpose of it all. I must see if I can make a start with my account of
what I can remember of Jacintas life. As I have no free time at my
disposal, I must make the most of the hours when we work in silence,
to recall and jot down, with the aid of paper and pencil which I keep
hidden under my sewing, all that the Holy Hearts of Jesus and Mary
want me to remember.
To Jacinta
10
Jacintas Character
Her Natural Characteristics
Your Excellency, before the happenings of 1917, apart from the
ties of relationship that united us, no other particular affection led me
to prefer the companionship of Jacinta and Francisco to that of any
other child. On the contrary, I sometimes found Jacintas company
quite disagreeable, on account of her oversensitive temperament. The
slightest quarrel which arose among the children was enough to send
her pouting into a corner tethering the donkey as we used to say.
Even the coaxing and caressing that the children knew so well how to
give on such occasions, were still not enough to bring her back to
play; she, herself had to choose the game, and her partner as well.
Her heart, however, was well disposed. God has endowed her
with a sweet and gentle character which made her at once lovable and
attractive. I dont know why but Jacinta and Francisco had a special
liking for me, and almost always came in search for me when they
wanted to play. They did not enjoy the company of the other children,
and they used to ask me to go with them to the well down at the
bottom of the garden belonging to my parents. Once we arrived there,
Jacinta chose which games we were to play.
The ones she liked best were usually Pebbles and Buttons,
which we played as we sat on the stone slabs covering the well, in the
shade of an olive tree and two plum trees. Playing Buttons often left
me in great distress, because when they called us in for our meals, I
used to find myself minus buttons. More often then not, Jacinta won
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them all, and this was enough to make my mother scold me. I had to
sew them on again in a hurry. But how could I persuade Jacinta to
give them back to me, since besides her pouty ways she had another
little defect, she was possessive! She wanted to keep all the buttons
for the next game, so as to avoid taking off her own! It was only by
threatening never to play with her again that I succeeded getting them
back! Not a few times, I found myself unable to do what my little
friend wanted.
One of my older sisters was a weaver and the other a seamstress,
and both were at home all day. The neighbors, therefore, used to ask
my mother if they could leave their children in my parents yard,
while they themselves went out to work, in the fields. The children
stayed with me and played, while my sisters kept an eye on us. My
mother was always willing to do this, although it meant considerable
waste of time for my sisters. I was, therefore, charged with amusing
the children, and watching to see that they did not fall into the pool in
the yard.
Three large fig trees sheltered us from the scorching sun. We
used their branches for swings, and an old threshing floor a dining
room. On days like these, when Jacinta came with her brother to invite
me to go with them to our favourite nook, I used to tell them that I
could not go, because my mother had ordered to stay where I was.
Then, disappointed but resigned, the two little ones joined in our
games.
At siesta time, especially when Lent was drawing near, she said:
I dont want to be ashamed of you when the priest questions you on
your catechism at Easter time. All the other children, therefore, were
present at our catechism lessons and Jacinta was there as well.
Her Sensitiveness
One day, one of these children accused the other of improper
talk. My mother reproved him severely, pointing out that one does not
say such nasty things, because they are sinful and displease the Child
Jesus; and that those who commit such sins and do not confess them,
go to Hell. Little Jacinta never forgot that lesson.
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The very next time the children came, Jacinta said: Will your
mother let you go today?
No.
Then, Im going with Francisco over to our yard.
And why wont you stay here?
Our mother doesnt want us to stay when those other children are
here. She told us to go and play in our own yard. She doesnt want me
to learn these nasty things, which are sins and which the Child Jesus
doesnt like.
Then she whispered in my ear: If your mother lets you, will you
come over to our yard?
Yes.
Then go ask her.
And taking her brother by the hand, she went home.
Speaking of Jacintas favourite games, one of them was
Forfeits. As Your Excellency probably knows, the loser has to do
whatever the winner tells him. Jacinta loved to send the loser chasing
after butterflies, to catch one and bring it to her. At other times she
demanded some flower of her own choosing. One day, we were
playing Forfeits at my home, and I won, so this time it was I who told
her what to do. My brother was sitting at the table writing.
I told her to give him a hug and a kiss, but she protested: That,
no! Tell me to do some other thing. Why dont you tell me to go and
kiss Our Lord over there? There was a Crucifx hanging on the wall.
Alright I answered, get up on a chair, bring the Crucifix over here,
kneel down and give him three hugs and three kisses; one for
Franisco, one for me and the other for yourself. To Our Lord, yes,
Ill give him as many as you like, and she ran to get the Crucifix.
She kissed it and hugged it with such devotion that I have never
forgotten it. Then, looking attentively at the figure of Our Lord, she
asked: Why is Our Lord nailed to the cross like that? Because He
died for us.
Tell me how it happened, she said.
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most stars. We called the stars Angels lamps, the moon Our Ladys
lamp and the sun Our Lords.
This led Jacinta to remark sometimes: You know, I like Our
Ladys lamp better; it doesnt burn us up or blind us, the way Our
Lords does. In fact, the sun can be very strong there on summer
days, and Jacinta, a delicate child, suffered greatly from the heat.
She Looks and Learns
As my sister belonged to the Sodality of the Sacred Heart of
Jesus, every time a childrens solemn communion came round, she
took me along to renew my own. On one occasion my aunt took her
little daughter to see the ceremony, and Jacinta was fascinated by the
angels strewing flowers. From that day on, she sometimes left us
while we were playing, and went off to gather an apron-full of
flowers. Then she came back and strewed them over me, one by one.
Jacinta, why on Earth are you doing that?
Im doing what the little angels do: Im strewing you with flowers.
Every year, on a big feast, probably Corpus Christi, my sister
used to prepare the dresses for the children chosen to represent the
angels in procession. They walked beside the canopy, strewing
flowers. I was always among the ones chosen, and one day after my
sister had tried on my dress, I told Jacinta about the coming feast, and
how I was going to strew flowers over Jesus. The little one begged me
to ask my sister to let her go as well. The two of us went along to
make our request. My sister said she could go, and tried a dress on
Jacinta. At the rehearsals, she explained how we were to strew the
flowers before the Child Jesus.
Will we see Him? asked Jacinta.
Yes. replied my sister. The parish priest will be carrying Him.
Jacinta jumped for joy, and kept on asking how much longer we
had to wait for the feast. The longed-for day arrived at last, and
Jacinta was beside herself with excitement. The two of us took our
places near the altar. Later, in the procession, we walked beside the
canopy, each of us with a basket full of flowers. Whereever my sister
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had told us to strew the flowers, I strewed mine before Jesus, but in
spite of all my signs I made to Jacinta, I couldnt get her to strew a
single one. She kept her eyes fixed on the priest, and that was all.
When the ceremony was over, my sister took us outside the
church and asked: Jacinta, why didnt you strew your flowers before
Jesus?
Because I didnt see Him. Jacinta then asked me: But did you see
the Child Jesus?
Of course not. Dont you know that the Child Jesus in the Host cant
be seen? Hes hidden! Hes the one we receive in Communion!
And you, when you go to communion, do you talk to Him? Yes, I
do.
Then, why dont you see Him?
Because Hes hidden.
Im going to ask my mother if I can go to Communion too.
The parish priest wont let you until you are ten years old.
But your not ten yet, and you go to Communion!
Because I know the whole catechism, and you dont.
After this, my two companions asked me to teach them the
catechism. So I became their catechist, and they learned with
exceptional enthusiasm. But though I could answer any question they
put to me, when it came to teaching, I could only remember things
here and there.
This led Jacinta to say to me one day: Teach us some more; we
know all those.
I had to admit, I could remember things only when people
questioned me on them, and I added: Ask your mother to let you go
to the church to learn your catechism.
The two children, who so ardently desired to receive the
Hidden Jesus, as they called Him, went to ask their mother, and my
aunt agreed. But she rarely let them go there, for she said: The
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church is a good way from here, and you are very small. In any case,
the priest wont give Holy Communion before youre ten years old.
Jacinta never stopped asking me questions about the Hidden
Jesus, and I remember how, one day, she asked me: How is it that so
many people receive the little Hidden Jesus at the same time? Is there
one small piece for each person?
Not at all! Dont you see that there are many Hosts, and that
there is a Child Jesus in all of them.
What a lot of nonsense I must have told her!
Jacinta, the Little Shepherdess
I was old enough now to be sent out to mind our sheep, just how
my mother had sent her other children at my age. My sister Carolina
was then thirteen, and it was time for her to go out to work. My
mother, therefore, put me in charge of our flock. I passed on the news
to my two companions, and told them that I would not be playing with
them anymore; but they could not bring themselves to accept such a
separation. They went at once to ask their mother to let them come
with me, but she refused. We had no alternative but to accept the
separation.
Nearly every day after that, they came to meet me on my way
home at dusk. Then we made for the threshing floor, and ran about for
a while, waiting for Our Lady and the Angels to light their lampsor
put them, as we used to say, at the window to give us light. On
moonless nights, we used to say that there was no oil for Our Ladys
lamp!
Jacinta and Francisco found it very hard to get used to the
absence of their former companion. For this reason, they pleaded with
their mother over and over again to let them, also, look after their
sheep. Finally my aunt, hoping perhaps to get rid of such persistent
requests, even though she knew that the children were too small,
handed over to them the care of their own flock. Radiant with joy,
they ran to give me the news and talk over how we could put our
flocks together every day.
17
Each one was to open the pen, whenever their mother decided,
and whoever reached the Barreiro first was to await the arrival of the
other flock. Barreiro was the name of a pond at the bottom of the hill.
As soon as we meet at the pond, we decided where we would pasture
the flock that day. Then off wed go, as happy and content as if we
were going to a festival.
And now, Your Excellency, we see Jacinta in her new life as a
shepherdess. We won over the sheep by sharing our lunch with them.
This meant that when we reached the pasture, we could play at our
ease, quite sure that they would not stray far away from us.
Jacinta loved to hear her voice echoing down the valleys. For
this reason, one of our favourite amusements was to climb to the top
of the hills, sit down on the biggest rock we could find, and call out
different names from the top of our voices. The name that echoed
back most clearly was Maria. Sometimes Jacinta used to say the
whole Hail Mary this way, only calling out the following word when
the preceeding one had stopped re-echoing.
We loved to sing too. Interspersed among popular songsof
which, alas! We knew quite a numberwere Jacintas favourite
hymns: Salve Nobre Padroeira (Hail Noble Patroness), Virgem Pura
(Virgin Pure), and Anjos, Canti Comigo (Angels Sing With Me). We
were very fond of dancing, and any instrument we heard being played
by the other shepherds was enough to set us off. Jacinta, as tiny as she
was, had a special aptitude for dancing.
We had been told to say the Rosary after our lunch, but as the
whole day seemed too short for our play, we worked out a fine way of
getting through it quickly. We simply passed the beads through our
fingers, saying nothing but Hail Mary, Hail Mary, Hail Mary At
the end of each mystery, we paused awhile, then simply said: Our
Father, and so on. In the twinkling of an eye, as they say, we had our
Rosary finished!
Jacinta also loved to hold the little white lambs tightly in her
arms, sitting with them on her lap, fondling them, kissing them, and
carrying them home at night on her shoulders, so that they wouldnt
get tired. One day on her way back, she walked along in the middle of
the flock.
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Jacinta, what are you doing there, I asked her, in the middle of the
sheep?
I want to do the same as Our Lord in that holy picture that they gave
me. Hes just like this, right in the middle of them all, and Hes
holding one of them in His arms.
The First Apparition
And now, Your Excellency, you know more or less how Jacinta
spent her first seven years of her life, right up to that 13th day of May,
1917, which dawned bright and fair like so many others before it. That
day, by chanceif in the designs of Providence there can be such a
thing as chancewe chose to pasture our flock on some land
belonging to my parents, called Cova De Iria. We chose the pasture as
we usually did, at the Barreiro I have already mentioned. This meant
we had to cross a barren stretch of moorland to get there, which made
the journey doubly long. We had to go slowly to give the sheep a
chance of grazing along the way, so it was almost noon when we
arrived.
I will not delay here to tell you what happened that day, because
Your Excellency knows it well already, and therefore it would be a
waste of time. Except for the sake of obedience, my writing this seems
a waste of time to me as well. For I cannot see the good Your
Excellency can draw from it all, unless it could be that you will
become better acquainted with Jacintas innocence of life.
Before beginning to tell Your Excellency what I remember of
this new period in Jacintas life, I must first admit that there were
certain aspects of Our Ladys apparitions which we had agreed not to
make known to anybody. Now however, I may have to speak about
them in order to explain whence Jacinta imbibed such great love for
Jesus, for suffering and for sinners, for whose salvation she sacrificed
herself so generously.
Your Excellency is not aware that she was the one who, unable
to contain herself with joy, broke the agreement to keep the matter to
ourselves. That very afternoon, while we remained thoughtful and rapt
in wonder, Jacinta kept breaking into enthusiastic exclamations: Oh,
what a beautiful Lady!
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I can see whats going to happen, I said, youll end saying that to
somebody else.
No, I wont, she answered, dont worry.
Next day, when Francisco came running to tell me how she had
told them everything at home the night before, Jacinta listened to the
accusation without a word.
You see, thats just what I thought was going to happen. I said to
her.
There was something within me that wouldnt let me keep it quiet,
she said with tears in her eyes.
Well, dont cry now, and dont tell anything else to anybody about
what Our Lady said to us.
But Ive already told them.
And what did you say?
I said that the Lady promised to take us to heaven.
To think youve told them that!
Forgive me, I won t tell anything ever again!
Reflecting on Hell
That day, when we reached the pasture, Jacinta sat thoughtfully on a
rock.
Jacinta, come and play.
I dont want to play today.
Why not?
Because Im thinking. That Lady told us to say the Rosary and make
sacrifices for the conversion of sinners, so from now on, when we say
the Rosary we must say the whole Hail Mary and the whole Our
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round begging from door to door. We met one day, as we were going
along with our sheep.
As soon as she saw them, Jacinta said to us: Lets give our
lunch to those poor children, for the conversion of sinners, and she
ran to take it to them.
That afternoon, she told me she was hungry. There were some
holm-oaks and oak trees near by. The acorns were still quite green.
However, I told her we could still eat them. Francisco climbed up a
holm-oak to fill his pockets, but Jacinta remembered that we could eat
the ones on the oak tree instead, and thus make a sacrifice by eating
the bitter kind. So it was there, that afternoon, that we enjoyed this
delicious repast! Jacinta made this as one of her usual sacrifices, and
often picked the acorns off the oaks or the olives off the trees.
One day I said to her: Jacinta, dont eat that; its too bitter!
But its because its bitter that Im eating it, for the conversion of
sinners.
These were not the only times we fasted. We had agreed that
whenever we see any poor children like these, we would give them
our lunch. They were only too happy to receive such an alms, and they
took good care to meet us; they used to wait for us along the road. We
no sooner saw them than Jacinta ran to give them all the food we had
for that day, as happy as if she had no need for it herself.
On days like that, our only nourishment consisted of pine nuts,
and little berries the size of an olive which grew on the roots of little
bell-flowers, as well as blackberries, mushrooms, and some other
things we found on the roots of pine treesI cant remember now
what these were called. If there was fruit available on the land
belonging to our parents, we used to eat that. Jacintas thirst for
making sacrifices seemed insatiable.
One day a neighbor offered my mother a good pasture for our
sheep. Though it was quite far away, and we were at the height of
summer, my mother accepted the offer made so generously and sent
me there. She told me that we should take our siesta in the shade of
the trees, as there was a pond nearby where the flock could go and
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drink. On the way, we met our dear poor children, and Jacinta ran and
gave them our usual alms.
It was a lovely day, but the sun was blazing, and in that arid,
stony wasteland, it seemed as though it would burn everything up. We
were parched with thirst, and there wasnt a single drop of water for us
to drink! At first, we offered it up generously for the conversion of
sinners, but after midday, we could hold out no longer.
As there was a house quite near, I suggested to my companions
that I should go and ask for a little water. They agreed to this, so I
went and knocked on the door. A little old woman gave me not only a
pitcher of water, but also some bread which I accepted gratefully. I ran
to share it with my little companions, and then offered the pitcher to
Francisco, and told him to drink.
I dont want to. he replied.
Why?
I want to suffer for the conversion of sinners.
You have a drink Jacinta!
But I want to offer this sacrifice for the conversion of sinners too.
Then I poured the water into a hollow in the rock, so that the
sheep could drink it, and went to return the pitcher to its owner. The
heat was getting more and more intense. The shrill singing of the
crickets and grasshoppers coupled with the croaking of the frogs in the
neighbouring pond made an uproar that was almost unbearable.
Jacinta, frail as she was, and weakened still more by the lack of
food and drink, said to me with that simplicity which was natural to
her: Tell the crickets and the frogs to keep quiet! I have such a
terrible headache.
Then Francisco said to her: Dont you want to suffer for the
conversion of sinners?
The poor child, clasping her head between her two little hands,
replied: Yes I do, let them sing!
23
Family Opposition
In the meantime, news of what had happened was spreading. My
mother was getting worried, and wanted at all costs to make me deny
what I had said. One day, before I set out with the flock, she was
determined to make me confess that I was telling lies, and to this end
she spared neither caresses, nor threats, not even the broomstick. To
all this she received nothing but a mute silence, or the confirmation of
all that I had already said.
She told me to go and let out the sheep, and during the day to
consider well that she had never tolerated a single lie among her
children, and much less would she allow a lie of this kind. She warned
me that she would force me, that very evening, to go to those people
whom I had deceived, confess that I had lied and ask their pardon. I
went off with my sheep, and that day my little companions were
already waiting for me. When they saw me crying, they ran up and
asked me what was the matter.
I told them all that had happened, and added: Tell me now,
what am I to do? My mother is determined at all costs to make me say
that I was lying. But how can I?
Then Francisco said to Jacinta: You see! its all your fault; why
did you have to tell them?
The poor child, in tears, knelt down, joined her hands, and asked
our forgiveness: I did wrong, she said through her tears, but I will
never tell anything to anybody again!
Your Excellency will probably be wondering who taught Jacinta
to make such an act of humility? I dont know. Perhaps she had seen
her brothers and sisters asking their parents for forgiveness before
going to communion; or else, as I think myself, Jacinta was the one
who received from Our Lady a greater abundance of grace, and a
better knowledge of God and of virtue. When the parish priest sent for
us some time later, to question us, Jacinta put her head down, and only
with difficulty did he succeed in getting a word or two out of her.
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Once outside, I asked her: Why didnt you answer the priest?
Because I promised you never to tell anything to anybody again!
One day she asked: Why cant we say that the Lady told us to
make sacrifices for sinners?
So they wont be asking what kind of sacrifices we are making.
My mother became more and more upset at the way things were
progressing. This led her to make yet another attempt to force me to
confess that I had lied. One morning early, she called me and told me
she was taking me to see the parish priest, saying: When you get
there, go down on your knees, tell him that youve lied, and ask his
pardon.
As we were going past my aunts house, my mother went inside
for a few minutes. This gave me a chance to tell Jacinta what was
happening. Seeing me so upset, she shed some tears and said: Im
going to get up and call Francisco. Well go and pray for you at the
well. When you get back, come and find us there.
On my return, I ran to the well, and there were the two of them
on their knees, praying. As soon as they saw me, Jacinta ran to hug
me, and then she said: You see! We must never be afraid of
anything! The Lady will help us always. Shes such a good friend of
ours!
Ever since the day Our Lady taught us to offer our sacrifices to
Jesus, any time we had something to suffer, or agreed to make a
sacrifice, Jacinta asked: Did you already tell Jesus that it is for the
love of Him?
If I said I hadnt, she answered: Then Ill tell Him, and
joining her hands, she raised her eyes to heaven and said: Oh Jesus, it
is for love of you, and for the conversion of sinners!
Love for the Holy Father
Two priests, who had come to question us, recommended us to
pray for the Holy Father. Jacinta asked who the Holy Father was. The
good priests explained who he was and how much he needed prayers.
This gave Jacinta such love for the Holy Father that, every time she
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offered her sacrifices to Jesus she added: and for the Holy father. At
the end of the Rosary, she always said three Hail Marys for the Holy
Father, and sometimes she would remark: How Id love to see the
Holy Father! So many people come here, but the Holy Father never
does!
In her childish simplicity, she supposed that the Holy Father
could make this journey just like anybody else! One day, my father
and my uncle were summoned to appear next morning with the three
of us before the Administrator.
Im not going to take my children, announced my uncle, nor
present them before any tribunal. Why, they are not old enough to be
responsible for their actions, and besides all that, they could never
stand the long journey on foot to the Vila Nova De Ourem. Ill go
myself and see what they want.
My father thought differently: As for my girl, Im taking her!
Let her answer for herself; I dont understand a thing about this.
They all took advantage of this occasion to frighten us in any way
they could. Next day, as we were passing by my uncles house, my
father had to wait for a few minutes for my uncle. I ran to say goodbye
to Jacinta, who was still in bed. Doubtful as to whether we would see
one another again, I threw my arms around her.
Bursting into tears, the poor child sobbed: If they kill you, tell
them that Francisco and I are just the same as you, and that we want to
die too. Im going right now to the well with Francisco, and well pray
hard for you.
When I got back at night fall, I ran to the well, and there were
the pair of them on their knees, leaning over the side of the well, their
heads buried in their hands, weeping bitterly.
As soon as they saw me, they cried out in astonishment:
Youve come then? Why, your sister came here to draw water and
told us that theyd killed you! Weve been praying and crying so much
for you!
In Prison at Ourem
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companions, and they lost no time in coming out to join me. Jacinta
never stopped running till she caught sight of me. Then, exhausted,
she sat down and kept calling to me, until I answered and ran to meet
her.
Troublesome Interrogations
Finally, my mother, tired of seeing my sister waste her time
coming to call me and taking my place with the sheep, decided to sell
the lot. She talked things over with my aunt, and they agreed to send
us off to school. At playtime, Jacinta loved to make a visit to the
Blessed Sacrament.
They seem to guess, she complained. We are no sooner
inside the church, then a crowd of people come asking us questions! I
wanted so much to be alone for a long time with the Hidden Jesus to
talk to Him, but they never let us.
It was true, the simple country folk never left us alone. With the
utmost simplicity, they told us all about their needs and their troubles.
Jacinta showed the greatest compassion, especially when it concerned
some sinner, saying: We must pray and offer sacrifices to Our Lord,
so that he will be converted and not go to hell, poor man!
In this connection, it might be good to relate here an incident
which shows to what extent Jacinta sought to escape from the people
who came looking for her. We were on our way to Fatima one day and
approaching the main road when we noticed a group of ladies and
gentlemen getting out of a car. We knew without the slightest doubt
that they were looking for us. Escape was impossible, for they would
see us. We continued on our way, hoping to be passed by without
being recognized.
On reaching us the ladies asked if we knew the little shepherds
to whom Our Lady had appeared. We said we did. Do you know
where they live? We gave them precise directions, and ran off to hide
in the fields among the brambles.
Jacinta was so delighted with her little stratagem that she
exclaimed: We must do this always when they dont know us by
sight.
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At other times, she said: Tell Jesus that I send Him my love,
and long to see Him.
Whenever I visited her room first, she used to say: Now go and
see Francisco. Ill make the sacrifice of staying here alone.
On another occasion, her mother brought her a cup of milk and
told her to take it.
I dont want it, mother, she answered, pushing the cup away
with her little hand.
My aunt insisted a little, and then left the room saying: I dont
know how to make her take anything; she has no appetite.
As soon as we were alone, I asked her: How can you disobey
your mother like that, and not offer this sacrifice to Our Lord?
When she heard this, she shed a few tears which I had the happiness
of drying, and said: I forgot this time.
She called her mother, and asked her forgiveness, and said shell
take whatever she wanted. Her mother brought back the cup of milk,
and Jacinta drank it down without the slightest sign of repugnance.
Later, she told me: If only you knew how hard it is to drink that!
Another time she said to me: Its becoming harder and harder
for me to take milk and broth, but I dont say anything. I drink it all
for love of Our Lord and of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, our dear
heavenly Mother.
Again,
I
asked
her:
Are
you
better?
You know Im not getting better, she replied and added, Ive such
pains in my chest! But I dont say anything. Im suffering for the
conversion of sinners.
One day when I arrived she asked: Did you make many
sacrifices today? Ive made a lot. My mother went out, and I wanted
to go and visit Francisco many times, and I didnt go.
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think, I shall never go there again! The tears streamed down her
cheeks.
One day my aunt made this request: Ask Jacinta what she is
thinking, when she covers her face with her hands and remains
motionless for such a long while. Ive already asked her, but she just
smiles and doesnt answer.
I put the question to Jacinta. I think of Our Lord, she replied,
of Our Lady, of sinners, and of (and she mentioned parts of the
secret). I love to think.
My aunt asked my how she answered. I just smiled.
This led my aunt to tell my mother what had happened. The life
of these children is an enigma to me, she exclaimed, I cant
understand it!
My mother added: Yes, and when they are alone, they talk
nineteen to the dozen. Yet, however hard you listen, you can never
catch a single word! I just cant understand all this mystery.
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Dont think about it. I advised her one day. Let me think
about it, she replied, for the more I think, the more I suffer, and I
want to suffer for love of Our Lord and for sinners. Anyway, I dont
mind! Our Lady will come to me there and take me to heaven.
At times, she kissed and embraced a crucifix, exclaiming: O
my Jesus! I love you, and I want to suffer very much for love of you.
How often did she say: O Jesus! Now you can convert many
sinners, because this is a really big sacrifice!
From time to time, she asked me: Am I going to die without
receiving the Hidden Jesus? If only Our Lady would bring Him to me,
when she comes to fetch me!
One day I asked her: What are you going to do in heaven?
Im going to love Jesus very much, and the Immaculate Heart of
Mary, too. Im going to pray alot for you, for sinners, the Holy Father,
for my parents and brothers and sisters and for all the people who
have asked me to pray for them
When her mother looked sad at seeing the child so ill, Jacinta
used to say: Dont worry, mother. Im going to heaven, and there Ill
be praying so much for you. Or again: Dont cry. Im alright.
If they asked her if she needed anything, she answered: No, I
dont,
thank
you.
Then when they left the room, she said: Im so thirsty, but I dont
want to take a drink. Im offering it to Jesus for sinners.
One day, when my aunt had been asking me many questions,
Jacinta called me to her and said: I dont want you to tell anybody
that Im suffering, not even my mother. I dont want to upset her.
On one occasion, I found her clasping a picture of Our Lady to
her heart, and saying: O my dearest Heavenly Mother, do I have to
die all alone?
The poor child seemed so frightened at the thought of dying
alone! I tried to comfort her saying: What does it mater if you die
alone, so long as Our Lady is coming to fetch you?
Its true, it doesnt matter, really. I dont know why it is, but I
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Epilogue
And now, I have finished telling Your Excellency what I
remember about Jacintas life. I ask our Good God to deign to accept
this act of obedience, that it may kindle in souls a fire of love for the
Hearts of Jesus and Mary.
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Your Excellency had burnt this account, without even reading it,
I would be very glad indeed, since I wrote it solely out of obedience to
the Will of our Good God, as made known to me through the express
will of Your Excellency.
40
Lucias Childhood
Your Excellency The Lord has looked upon His lowly
handmaid, that is why all peoples will sing the greatness of His
Mercy. It seems to me, Your Excellency, that our dear Lord deigned
to favour me with the use of reason from my earliest childhood. I
remember being conscious of my actions, even from my mothers
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Popular Entertainments
At the dances, they deposited me on top of a wooden chest or
some other tall piece of furniture, to save me from being trampled
underfoot. Once on my perch, I had to sing a number of songs to the
music of the guitar or the concertina. My sisters had already taught me
to sing, as well as to dance a few waltzes when there was a partner
missing. The latter I performed with rare skill, thus attracting the
attention and applause of everyone present. Some of them even
rewarded me with gifts, in the hope of pleasing my sisters. On Sunday
afternoons, all these young people used to gather in our yard, in the
shade of three large fig trees in summer, and in winter in an open
porch that we had where my sister Marias house now stands. There
they spent the afternoons playing and chatting with my sisters. It was
there that we used to raffle the sugared almonds at Easter time, and
most of them used to find their way into my pocket, as some of the
winners hoped to gain our good graces.
My mother would spend these afternoons seated at the kitchen
door looking out on the yard, so that she could see all that was going
on. Sometimes she held a book in her hand and so she would read for
a while; at other times she chatted with my aunts or neighbours who
sat beside her. She was always very serious and everybody knew that
what she said was like Scripture and must be obeyed without more
ado. I never knew anyone to say a disrespectful word in her presence,
or show her any lack of consideration. It was the general opinion
among them, that my mother was worth more than all her daughters
put together, I often heard my mother say: I dont know how these
people enjoy running about chattering from house to house! As for me
there is nothing as good as just staying at home for a nice quiet read!
These books are full of such wonderful things! And as for the lives of
the Saints, theyre simply beautiful!
It seems to me that I have already told Your Excellency how
during the week, I used to spend the day surrounded by children from
the neighbourhood. The mothers went out to work in the fields, so
they used to ask my mother if they could leave the children with me.
When I wrote to Your Excellency about my cousin, I think I also
described our games and amusements, so I will not dwell on them
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down there before Our Lady and ask Her, with great confidence, to
take care of your heart, to prepare it to receive Her beloved Son
worthily tomorrow, and to keep it for Him alone! In the Church,
there was more than one statue of Our Lady; but as my sisters took
care of the altar of Our Lady of the Rosary, I usually went there to
pray. That is why I went there on this occasion also, to ask Her with
all the ardour of my soul, to keep my poor heart for God alone. As I
repeated this humble prayer over and over again, with my eyes fixed
on the statue, it seemed to me that She smiled and, with a loving look
and a kindly gesture, assured me that She would. My heart was
overflowing with joy, and I could scarcely utter a single word.
Eager Expectancy
My sisters stayed that night making me a white dress and a
wreath of flowers. As for me, I was so happy that I could not sleep,
and it seemed as if the hours would never pass! I kept on getting up to
ask them if the day had come, or if they wanted me to try on my dress
or my wreath, and so forth.
The happy day dawned at last; but nine oclockhow long it
was in coming! I put on my white dress, and then my sister Maria took
me into the kitchen to ask pardon of my parents, to kiss their hands
and to ask their blessing. After this little ceremony, my mother gave
me her last recommendations. She told me what she wanted me to ask
Our Lord when I had received Him into my heart, and said good bye
to me in these words: Above all, ask Him to make you a saint. Her
words made such an indelible impression on my heart, that they were
the very first that I said to Our Lord when I received Him. Even today,
I seem to hear the echo of my mothers voice repeating these words to
me. I set out for the church with my sisters, and my brother carried me
all the way in his arms, that so not a speck of dust from the road
would touch me,. As soon as I arrived at the church, I ran to kneel
before the altar of Our Lady to renew my petition. There I remained in
contemplation of Our Ladys smile of the previous day, until my
sisters came in search of me and took me to my appointed place.
There was a large number of children, arranged in four linestwo of
boys and two of girls from the back of the church right up to the
altar rails. Being the smallest, it happened that I was the one nearest to
the Angels on the step by the altar rails.
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In Retrospect
I dont know whether the facts I have related above about my
First Communion were a reality or a little childs illusion. What I do
know is that they always had, and still have today, a great influence in
uniting me to God. What I dont know either is why I am telling Your
Excellency all about our family life. But it is God who inspires me to
do so, and He knows the reason for it. Perhaps it is to let you see how,
after having had so much affection lavished upon me. I would feel all
the more deeply the suffering our dear Lord was going to ask of me.
As Your Excellency has told me to give an account of all the
sufferings that Our Lord has sent me, and all the graces which He has
deigned, in His mercy, to grant me, I think it best to tell them just as
they happened. Moreover, I feel quite at peace about it, because I
know Your Excellency will put into the fire whatever you see does not
further the glory of God and of Mary most Holy.
The Apparitions, Lucia the Shepherdess
This was how things were until I was seven years old. My
mother then decided that I should take over the care of our sheep. My
father did not agree, nor did my sisters. They were so fond of me, that
they wanted an exception made in my case. My mother would not
give in: Shes just like the rest. she said: Carolina is already twelve
years old. That means she can now begin to work in the fields, or else
learn to be a weaver or a seamstress, whichever she prefers. The care
of our flock was then given to me. News that I was beginning my life
as a shepherdess spread rapidly among the other shepherds: almost all
of them came and offered to be my companions. I said Yes to
everybody, and arranged with each one to meet on the slopes of the
serra. Next day, the serra was a solid mass of sheep with their
shepherds, as though a cloud had descended upon it.
But I felt ill at ease in the midst of such a hubbub. I therefore
chose three companions from among the shepherds, and without
saying a word to anyone, we arranged to pasture our sheep on the
opposite slopes. These were the three I chose. Teresa Matias, her sister
Maria Rosa and Maria Justino. On the following day, we set out in the
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50
been used to nothing but caresses. But this was nothing really. You
see, I did not know what the Good Lord had in store for me in the
future.
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54
As my voice was choked with sobs and I could not say a word,
they shared my suffering to such a degree that they also wept copious
tears. Then Jacinta made our offering aloud: My God, it is an act of
reparation, and for the conversion of sinners, that we offer you all
these sufferings and sacrifices. The formula of the offering was not
always exact but the meaning was always the same.
So much suffering began to undermine my mothers health. She
was no longer able to work, so she sent for my sister Gloria to come
and take care of her, and look after the house as well. All the surgeons
and doctors around were consulted. We had recourse to every kind of
remedy, but there was no improvement whatsoever. The good parish
priest kindly offered to take my mother to Leiria in his mule cart, to
consult the doctors there. Accompanied by my sister Teresa, she went
to Leiria. But she arrived home half dead from such a journey, worn
out after so many consultations, and having obtained no beneficial
results of any kind. Finally a surgeon in S. Mamede was consulted. He
declared that my mother had a cardiac lesion, a dislocated spinal
vertebra and fallen kidneys. He perscribed for her a rigirius treatment
of red-hot needles and various kinds of medication, and this brought
about some improvement of her condition.
This is how things were with us when the 13th of May, 1917
arrived. It was around this time also that my brother reached the age
for enlistment into the army. As his health was excellent, there was
every reason to expect that he would be accepted. Besides, there was a
war on, and it would be difficult to obtain his exemption from military
service. My mother being afraid of being left alone with no one to
look after the land, sent also for my sister Carolina to come home.
Meanwhile, my brothers godfather promised to obtain his exemption.
He put in a word with the doctor responsible for his medical
examination and thus the good Lord deigned to grant my mother this
relief.
Apparitions of Our Lady
I will not delay now describing the Apparition of May 13th. It is
well known to Your Excellency, and it would therefore be a waste of
time for me to go into it here. You also know how my mother came to
be aware of what happened, and how she spared no efforts to make me
55
admit that I had lied. We agreed never to reveal to anyone the words
Our Lady spoke to us that day. After having promised to take us to
Heaven, she asked: Are you willing to offer yourselves to God to
bear all the sufferings He will send you, as an act of reparation for the
sins by which He is offended, and of supplication for the conversion
of sinners? Yes we are willing, was our reply. Then, you are
going to have much to suffer, but the grace of God will be your
comfort.
The 13th of June, Feast of St Anthony, was always a day of
great festivals in our parish. On that day, we usually let out the flocks
very early in the morning, and at nine oclock we shut them up in their
pens again, and went off to the festa. My mother and my sisters, who
knew how much I loved a festa, kept saying to me: Weve yet to see
if youll leave the festa just to go to the Cova da Ira, and talk to that
Lady! On the day itself nobody said a single word to me. Insofar as I
was concerned, they acted as if they were saying: Leave her alone;
and well soon see what shell do!
I let out my flock at daybreak, intending to put them back in the
pen at nine, go to Mass at ten, and after that go to the Cova da Ira. But
the sun was no sooner up than my brother came to call me. He told me
to go back home, as there were several people there wanting to speak
to me. He himself stayed with the flock, and I went to see what they
wanted. I found some women, and men too, who had come from such
places as Minde, from around Tomar, Carrascos, Boleiros, etc. They
wished to accompany me to the Cova da Iria. I told them that it was
early yet and invited them to the eight o clock Mass. After that, I
returned home. These good people waited for me out in the yard, in
the shade of our fig trees. My mother and my sisters persisted in their
contemptuos attitude, and this cut me to the heart, and was indeed as
hurtful to me as insults. Around eleven oclock, I left home and called
at my uncles house, where Jacinta and Francisco were waiting for
me. Then we sent off for the Cova da Iria, in expectation for the
longed-for moment. All those people followed us, asking a thousand
questions. On that day, I was overwhelmed with bitterness. I could see
that my mother was deeply distressed, and that she wanted at all costs
to compel me, as she put it, to admit that I had lied. I wanted so much
to do as she wished, but the only way I could do so was to tell a lie.
From the cradle, she had instilled into her children a great horror of
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you; let them do whatever he likes with you, just so long as he forces
you to admit that you have lied; and then Ill be satisfied.
My sisters took my mothers part and invented endless threats,
just to frighten me about the interview with the parish priest. I told
Jacinta and her brother all about it. Were going also, they replied,
The Reverend Father told our mother to take us there too, but she
didnt say any of those things to us. Never Mind! If they beat us, well
suffer for love of Our Lord and for sinners. Next day I walked behind
my mother, who did not address a single word to me the whole way. I
must admit that I was trembling at the thought of what was going to
happen. During Mass, I offered my suffering to God. Afterwards, I
followed my mother out of the church over the priests house, and
started up the stairs leading to the verandah. We had climbed only a
few steps, when my mother turned round and exclaimed: Dont
annoy me any more! Tell the Reverend Father now that you have lied,
so that on Sunday he can say in the church that it was all a lie, and that
will be the end of the whole affair. A nice business, this is! All the
crowd running to the Cove da Iria, just to pray in front of a holm oak
bush!
Without more ado, she knocked on the door. The good priests
daughter opened the door and invited us to sit down on a bench and
wait a while. At last, the parish priest appeared. He took us into his
study, motioned my mother to take a seat, and beckoned me over to
his desk. When I found that his Reverence was questioning me quite
calmly, and with such a kindly manner, I was amazed. I was still
fearful, however, of what was yet to come. The interrogation was very
minute and, I would venture to say, tiresome. His Reverence
concluded with this brief observation: It doesnt seem to me like a
revelation from Heaven. It is usual in such cases for Our Lord to tell
the souls to whom He makes such communications to give their
confessor or parish priest an account of what has happened. But this
child. on the contrary, keeps it to herself as far as she can. This may
also be a deceit of the devil. We shall see. The future will show us
what we are to think about it all.
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remove it, she replied: No! I want to offer this sacrifice to Our Lord
in reparation, and for the conversion of sinners.
Another day we were playing, picking little plants off the wall
and pressing them in our hands to hear them crack. While Jacinta was
plucking these plants, she happened to catch hold of some nettles and
stung herself. She no sooner felt the pain than she squeezed them
more tightly in her hands, and said to us: Look! Look! Here is
something else with which we can mortify ourselves! From that time
on, we used to hit our legs occasionally with nettles, so as to offer to
God yet another sacrifice. If I am not mistaken, it was also during this
month that we acquired the habit of giving our lunch to our little poor
children, as I have already described to Your Excellency in the
account about Jacinta. It was during this month too, that my mother
began to feel a little more at peace. She would say: If there were just
one more person who had seen something, why then, I might believe!
But among all those people, theyre the only ones who saw anything!
Now, during this past month, various people were saying that
they had seen different things. Some had seen Our Lady, others,
various signs in the sun, and so on. My mother declared: I used to
think before, that if there were just one other person who saw
anything, then Id believe; but now, so many people say they have
seen something, and I still dont believe! My father also began, about
then, to come to my defense, and to silence those who started scolding
me; as he used to say: We dont know if its true, but neither do we
know if its a lie. Then it was my uncle and aunt, wearied out by the
troublesome demands of all these outsiders who were continually
wanting to see us and speak to us, began to send their son John out to
pasture the flock, and they themselves remained home with Jacinta
and Francisco. Shortly afterwards, they ended by selling the sheep
altogether.
As I did not enjoy any other company, I started to go out alone
with my sheep. As Ive already told Your Excellency, whenever I
happened to be nearby, Jacinta and her brother would come to join
me; and when the pasture was at a distance they would be waiting for
me on the way home. I can truly say that these were really happy days.
Alone, in the midst of my sheep, whether on the tops of the hills or in
the depths of the valleys below, I contemplated the beauty of the
Heavens and thanked the good God for all the graces He had bestowed
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call me, and take my place with the flock, while I went to speak to the
people who were asking to see me and talk with me.
This waste of time would have meant nothing to a wealthy
family, but for ourselves who had to live by our work, it meant a great
deal. After some time, my mother found herself obliged to sell our
flock, and this made no small difference to the support of the family. I
was blamed for the whole thing, and at critical moments, it was all
flung in my face. I hope Our dear Lord has accepted it all from me, for
I offered it to Him always happy to be able to sacrifice myself for Him
and for sinners. On her part, my mother endured everything with
heroic patience and resignation: and if she reprimanded me and
punished me it was because she really thought that I was lying. She
was completely resigned to the crosses which Our Lord was sending
her, and at times she would say: Could it be that all this is Gods
work, in punishment for my sins? If so, then blessed be God!
Lucias Spirit of Sacrifice
A neighbour took it on herself one day, why I do not know, to
remark that some gentleman had given me some money, though I
cannot remember how much. Without more ado, my mother called me
and asked for it. When I told her I hadnt received any, she wanted to
force me to hand it over to her, and to this end, had recourse to the
broom-handle. When the dust had been well beaten out of my clothes,
Carolina, one of my sisters, intervened, along with a girl from our
neighbourhood, called Virginia. They said they had been present at the
interrogation, and they had seen that the gentleman had actually given
me nothing at all. Thanks to their defending me, I was able to slip
away to my beloved well, and there offer another sacrifice to Our
Good Lord.
A Tall Visitor
If I am not mistaken, it was also during this month that a young
man made his appearance at our home. He was of such tall stature that
I trembled with fear. when I saw he had to bend down in order to
come through the doorway in search of me. I thought I must be in the
presence of a German. At that time we were at war, and grown ups
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Questioned by Priests
In the account that I have written about my cousin, I have
already told Your Excellency how two holy priests came and spoke to
us about His Holiness, and told us of his great need of prayers. From
that time on, there was not a prayer or a sacrifice that we offered God
which did not include an invocation for His Holiness. We grew to love
the Holy Father so deeply, that when the parish priest told my mother
I would probably have to go to Rome to be interrogated by His
Holiness, I clapped my hands with joy and said to my cousins: Wont
it be wonderful if I can go and see the Holy Father! They burst into
tears and said: We cant go, but we can offer this sacrifice for him.
The parish priest questioned me for the last time. The events had
duly come to an end at the appointed time, and still His Reverence did
not know what to say about the whole affair. He was also beginning to
show his displeasure. Why are all those people going to prostrate
themselves in prayer in a deserted spot like that, while here the living
God of our altars, in the Blessed Sacrament, is left all alone,
abandoned, in the Tabernacle? Whats all the money for, the money
they leave under the holm oak, while the church, which is under
repairs, cannot be completed for lack of funds? I understood
perfectly why he spoke like that, but what could I do! If I had been
given the authority over the hearts of those people, I would certainly
have lead them to the parish church, but as I had not, I offered God yet
another sacrifice.
As Jacinta was in the habit of putting her head down, keeping
her eyes fixed on the ground and scarcely uttering a word during the
interrogations, I was usually called upon to satisfy the curiosity of the
pilgrims. For that reason, I was continually being summoned to the
house of the parish priest. On one occasion, a priest from Torres
Novas came to question me. When he did so, he went into such
minute details, and tried so hard to trip me up, that afterwards I felt
some scruples about having concealed certain things from him. I
consulted my cousin on the matter: I dont know, I asked them, if
we are doing wrong by not telling them everything, when they ask us
if Our Lady told us anything else, when we just say that She told us a
secret. I dont know whether we are lying or not, by saying nothing
about the rest. I dont know, replied Jacinta. That is up to you!
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Youre the one who does not want us to say anything. Of course I
dont want you to say anything. I answered. Why, theyll start
asking us what sort of mortifications we are practicing! And that
would be the last straw! Listen! If you had kept quiet, and not said a
word, nobody would have known by now that we saw Our Lady, or
spoke to Her, or to the Angel, and nobody needed to know it
anyway!
The poor child had no sooner heard my arguments than she
started to cry. Just as she did in May, she asked for my forgiveness in
the way I have already described in my account of her life. So I was
left with my scruple, and had no idea how I was to resolve my doubt.
A while later, another priest appeared: he was from Santarem. He
looked like a brother of the first Ive just spoken of, or at least they
seemed to have rehearsed things together, asking the same questions,
making the same attempts to trip me up, laughing and making fun of
me in the same way; in fact their very height and features were almost
identical. After the interrogation, my doubt was stronger than ever,
and I really did not know what course of action to follow. I constantly
pleaded with Our Lord and Our Lady to tell me what to do. O my
God and my dearest Mother in Heaven, you know that I do not want
to offend You by telling lies, but you know that it would not be right
to tell them all that you told me!
In the midst of this perplexity, I had the happiness of speaking to
the Vicar of Olival. I do not know why, but His Reverence inspired
me with confidence, and I confided my doubt to him. I have already
explained, in my account of Jacinta, how he taught us to keep our
secret. He also gave us some further instructions on the spiritual life.
Above all, he taught us to give pleasure to Our Lord in everything,
and how to offer Him countless little sacrifices. If you feel like eating
something my children, he would say: leave it and eat something
else instead: and thus offer a sacrifice to God. If you feel inclined to
play, do not do so, and offer to God another sacrifice. If people
question you, and you cannot avoid answering them, it is God who
wills it so: offer this sacrifice too.
This holy priest spoke a language that I could really understand,
and I loved him dearly. From then on, he never lost sight of my soul.
Now and then, he called in to see me, or kept in touch with me
through a pious widow called Sonora Emillia, who lived in a little
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hamlet near Olival! She was very devout and often went to pray at the
Cova de Iria. After that, she used to come to our house and ask them
to let me go and spend a few days with her. Then we paid a visit to the
Reverend Vicar who was kind enough to invite me to remain for two
or three days as company for one of his sisters. At such times, he was
patient enough to spend whole hours alone with me, teaching me the
practice of virtue and guiding me with his own wise counsels. Even at
the time I did not understand anything about spiritual direction, I can
truly say, that he was my first spiritual director. I cherish, therefore,
grateful and holy memories of this saintly priest.
After the Apparitions, Lucia Goes to School
Oh dear, here I am writing about rhyme or reason, as we say,
and already leaving various things that I should have said! But I am
doing as Your Excellency told me: writing just what I remember and
in all simplicity. That is what I want to do without worrying about
order or style. In that way, I think my obedience is more perfect, and
therefore more pleasing to Our Lord and to the Immaculate Heart of
Mary. I will go back, then, to my parents home. I have told Your
Excellency that my mother had to sell our flock. We kept only three
sheep, which we took along with us when we went to the fields.
Whenever we stayed at home, we kept them in the pen and fed them
there. My mother then sent me to school, and in my free time, she
wanted me to learn weaving and sewing. In this way, she had me safe
in the house, and didnt have to waste time looking for me.
One fine day, my sisters were asked to go with some other girls
to help with the vintage on the property of a wealthy man of Pe de
Cao. My mother decided to let them go, as long as I could go, too. I
have already said earlier on, that my mother never allowed them to go
anywhere, unless they took me with them.
Lucia and the Parish
At that time also, the parish priest began preparing the children
for a solemn Communion. Since the age of six, I had repeated my
solemn Communion every year, but this year my mother decided I
would not do so. For this reason I did not attend the Catechism
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classes. After school, the other children went to the parish priests
verandah, while I went home to get on with my sewing or weaving.
The good priest did not take kindly to my absence from the Catechism
classes.
One day on my way home from school, his sister sent another
child after me. She caught up with me on the road to Aljustrel, near
the house of a poor man who was nick-named Snail. She told me that
the parish priests sister wanted me, and that I was to go straight back.
Thinking that I was just wanted for questioning. I excused myself
saying that my mother had told me to go home right after school.
Without further ado, I took to my heels across the fields like a mad
thing, in search of a hiding place where no one could find me. But this
time the prank cost me dear. Some days later there was a big feast in
the parish, and several priests came from all around to sing the Mass.
When it was over, the parish priest sent for me, and in front of all
those priests, reprimanded me severely for not attending the
Catechism lessons, and for not running back to his sister when she had
sent for me. In short all my faults and failings were brought to light,
and the sermon went on for quite a long while. At last, though I dont
know how, a holy priest appeared on the scene, and sought to plead
my cause. He tried to excuse me saying that perhaps my mother had
not given me permission. But the good priest replied: Her mother!
Why, she is a saint! But as for this one, it remains to be seen what
shell turn out to be!
The good priest, who later became Vicar of Torres Novas, then
asked me very kindly why I had not been to the Catechism classes. I
therefore told him of my mothers decision. His Reverence did not
seem to believe me and sent for my sister Gloria, who was over by the
church, to find out the truth of the matter. Having found that indeed
things were just as I had said, he came to this conclusion: Well then!
Either the child is going to attend the Catechism classes for the days
still remaining and afterwards come to me for confession, and then
make her solemn Communion with all of the rest of the children, or
shes never going to receive Communion again in this parish! When
my sister heard this proposal, she pointed out that I was due to leave
with my sisters five days beforehand, and such arrangements would be
most inconvenient. She added that, if His Reverence so desired, I
could go to Confession and Communion some other day, before we
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left. The good priest paid no attention to her request, and stood firm
by his decision.
When we reached home, we told my mother all about it. She
also went to the Reverend Father to ask him to hear my confession
and give me Holy Communion on another day. But it was all in vain.
My mother then decided that, after the solemn Communion day, my
brother would make the journey with me, in spite of the long distance
and the difficulties caused by the extremely bad roads, winding up and
down the hills and highlands. I think I must have sweated ink at the
mere idea of having to go to confession to the parish priest! I was so
upset that I cried.
On the day before the solemn Communion, His Reverence sent
for all the children to go to church in the afternoon to make their
confession. As I went, anguish gripped my heart as in a vice. As I
entered the church I saw that there were several priests hearing
confessions. There at the end of the church was Reverend Father Cruz
from Lisbon. I had spoken to his Reverence before, and I liked him
very much indeed. Without noticing that the parish priest was in an
open confessional half way up the church, I thought to myself: First
Ill go and make my confession to Father Cruz and ask him what I am
to do, and then Ill go to the parish priest. Dr. Cruz received me with
the greatest kindness.
After hearing my confession, he gave me some advice, telling
me that if I do not want to go to the parish priest, I should not do so;
and that he could not refuse me Communion for something like that. I
was radiant with joy on hearing this advice and said my penance.
Then I made good my escape from the church, for fear lest somebody
might call me back. Next day, I went to the church all dressed in
white, still afraid that I might be refused Communion. But His
Reverence contented himself with letting me know that my lack of
obedience in going to confession with another priest, had not gone
unnoticed. The good priest grew more and more displeased and
perplexed concerning these events until, one day he left the parish.
The news then went round that His Reverence had left on account of
me, because he did not want to assume responsibility for these events.
He was a zealous priest and much beloved among the people, and so I
had much to suffer as a result. Several pious women, whenever they
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met me, gave vent to their displeasure by insulting me, and sometimes
sent me on my way with a couple of blows or kicks.
Companions in Sympathy and in Sacrifice
These heaven-sent caresses were rarely meted out to Jacinta and
Francisco, for their parents would not allow anyone to lay their hands
on them. But they suffered when they saw me suffering, and many a
time tears ran down their cheeks whenever they saw me distressed or
humiliated. One day, Jacinta said to me: If only my parents were like
yours, so that those people would beat me too, then Id have more
sacrifices to offer Our Lord. However she knew how to make the
most of opportunities for mortifying herself. Occasionally also, we
were in the habit of offering God the sacrifice of spending nine days
or a month without taking a drink. Once we made this sacrifice even
in the month of August, when the weather was suffocating.
As we were returning one day from the Cova da Iria where we
had been praying our Rosary, we came to a pond beside the road, and
Jacinta said to me: Oh Im so thirsty, and my head aches so! Im
going to drink a little drop of this water. Not that water I answered:
My mother doesnt want us to drink it, because it is not good for us.
Well go and ask Maria dos Anjos for some. (She was a neighbour of
ours, who had been recently married and was living near there in a
small house). No! I dont want good water. Id rather drink this,
because instead of offering Our Lord our thirst, I could offer Him the
sacrifice of drinking this dirty water. As a matter of fact, this water
was filthy. People washed their clothes in it, and the animals came
there to drink and waded right into it. That was why my mother
warned her children not to drink this water.
At other times, Jacinta would say: Our Lord must be pleased
with our sacrifices, because I am so thirsty, so thirsty! Yet I do not
want to take a drink. I want to suffer for love of Him. One day, we
were sitting in the doorway of my uncles house, when we noticed
several people approaching. Not having time to do anything else,
Francisco and I ran inside to hide under the beds, he in one room and I
in another. Jacinta said: Im not going to hide. I am going to offer
this sacrifice to Our Lord. These people came up and talked to her,
waiting around quite a long time until I could be found. Finally they
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went away. I slipped out of my hiding place and asked Jacinta: What
did you answer when they asked if you knew where we were? I said
nothing at all. I put my head down, kept my eyes fixed on the ground,
and said nothing. I always do that, when I dont want to tell the truth;
and I dont want to tell a lie either, because lying is a sin.
She was indeed accustomed to do just this, and it was useless to
question her if those who did so obtained no response whatsoever. If
escape were at all possible, we normally felt little inclined to offer this
kind of sacrifice. Another day, we were sitting in the shade of two fig
trees overhanging the road that runs by my cousins house. Francisco
began to play a little way off. He saw several ladies coming towards
us and ran back to warn us. We promptly climbed up the fig trees. In
those days it was the fashion to wear hats with brims as wide as a
sieve, and we were sure with such head gear, those people would
never catch sight of us up there. As soon as the ladies had gone by, we
came down as fast as we could, took to our heels and hid in the
cornfield.
This habit we had of making good our escape, whenever
possible, was yet another cause for complaint on the part of the parish
priest. He bitterly complained of the way we tried to avoid priests in
particular. His Reverence was certainly right. It was priests especially
who put us through the most rigorous cross-examinations, and then
returned to question us all over again. Whenever we found ourselves
in the presence of a priest, we prepared to offer to God one of our
greatest sacrifices!
Government Opposition
Meanwhile, the Government showed disapproval of the way
affairs were progressing. At the place of the Apparitions some people
had erected poles to form an arch, hung with lanterns which they were
careful to keep always burning. One night orders were given for some
men to pull down these poles, and also cut down the holm oak on
which the Apparitions had taken place, and drag it away with them
behind a car. In the morning, news of what had happened spread like
wildfire. I ran to the place to see if it were true. But what was my
delight to find that the poor men had made a mistake, and that instead
of cutting down the holm oak, they had carried off one of the others
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growing nearby! I then asked Our Lady to forgive these poor men and
I prayed for their conversion.
Some time later, on the 13th of May, I dont remember whether
it was 1918 or 1919, news went round at dawn that cavalry men were
in Fatima to prevent the people from going to the Cova da Iria.
Everybody was alarmed, and came to give me the news, assuring me
without any doubt this was to be the last day of my life. Without
taking this news too seriously, I set out for the church. When I reached
Fatima, I passed between the horses which were all over the church
grounds, and went into the church. I heard Mass celebrated by a priest
I did not know, received Holy Communion, made my thanksgiving
and went back home without anyone saying a single word to me, or
that they did not think me worthy of notice. News kept coming in that
the troops were trying in vain to keep the people away from the Cova
da Iria. In spite of this, I went there too to recite the Rosary. On the
way I was joined by a group of women who had come from a
distance. As we drew near the place, two cavalrymen gave their horses
a smart crack of the whip and advanced at full speed towards the
group. They pulled up beside us and asked where we were going. The
women boldly replied that it was none of their business. They
whipped the horses again as though they meant to charge forward and
trample us underfoot. The women ran in all directions and a moment
later I found myself alone with the cavalry men. Then they asked me
my name, and I gave it without hesitation. They next asked me if I
was the seer, and I said I was. They ordered me to step out onto the
middle of the road between the two horses, and proceed in the
direction of Fatima.
As we reached the pond I spoke of earlier, a poor woman who
lived there and whom I have also mentioned, seeing me coming in the
distance between the two horses, ran out as I approached, into the
middle of the road, like another Veronica. The soldiers lost no time in
getting her out of the way, and the poor woman burst into a flood of
tears, loudly bewailing my misfortune. A few paces further on, they
stopped and asked me if the woman was my mother. I said she was
not. They did not believe me and asked if that house was my home. I
again said No! Still apparently not believing me, they ordered me to
walk a little ahead until I arrived at my parents house.
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their dying mother. As I was the youngest my turn came at last. When
my mother saw me she brightened up a little, flung her arms around
my neck and with a deep sigh, exclaimed: My poor daughter, what
will become of you without your mother! I am dying with my heart
pieced through because of you. Then bursting into tears and sobbing
bitterly, she clasped me more and more tightly in her arms. My eldest
sister forcibly pulled me away from my mother, took me to the
kitchen and forbade me to go back to the sick room, saying: Mother
is going to die of grief because of all the trouble you have given her!
I knelt down, put my head on a bench, and in a distress more bitter
than any I had ever known before, I made the offering of my sacrifice
to our dear Lord. A few minutes later, my two older sisters, thinking
the case was hopeless, came to me and said: Lucia! If it is true that
you saw Our Lady, go right now to the Cova da Iria and ask Her to
cure our mother. Promise Her whatever you wish, and well do it; and
then well believe.
Without losing a moment, I set out. So as not to be seen, I made
my way across the fields along some bypaths, reciting the Rosary all
the way. Once there, I placed my request before Our Lady and
unburdened myself of all my sorrow, shedding copious tears. I then
went home, comforted by the hope that my beloved Mother in Heaven
would hear my prayer and restore health to my mother on earth. When
I reached home my mother was already feeling somewhat better.
Three days later she was able to resume her work around the house. I
had promised the Most Blessed Virgin that, if She granted me what I
asked, I would go there for nine days in succession, together with my
sisters, pray the Rosary and go on our knees from the roadway to the
holmoak tree; and on the ninth day we would take nine poor children
with us, and afterwards give them a meal. We went then to fulfill my
promise and my mother came with us. How strange! she said: Our
Lady cured me and somehow I still dont believe! I dont know how
this can be!
Lucias Father Dies
Our good Lord gave me this consolation, but once again He
came knocking on my door to ask yet another sacrifice, and not a
small one either. My father was a healthy man, and robust; he said he
had never known what it was to have a headache. But in less than
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eagerly and sometimes with tears running down her cheeks, she would
say To think Ill never go there again! Nor Valinhos, nor Cova da
Iria! I miss them all so much! But what does it matter, if youre
going to Heaven to see Our Lord and Our Lady? Thats true, she
replied. Then she lay there contentedly, plucking off the petals and
counting them one by one.
A few days after falling ill, she gave me the rope she had been
wearing and said: Keep it for me; Im afraid my mother may see it. If
I get better I want it back again! This cord had three knots, and was
somewhat stained with blood. I kept it hidden until finally I left my
mothers home. Then not knowing what to do with it, I burned it, and
Franciscos as well.
Lucia In Poor Health
Several people who came from a distance to see us, noticing that
I looked very pale and anemic, asked my mother to let me go and
spend a few days in their homes, saying the change of air would do
me good. With this end in view, my mother gave her consent and they
took me with them, now to one place, now to another. When away
from home like this, I did not always meet with esteem or affection.
While there were some who admired me and considered me a saint,
there were also others who heaped abuse upon me and called me a
hypocrite, a visionary and a sorceress. This was the good Lords way
of throwing salt into the water to prevent it from going bad. Thanks to
this Divine Providence, I went through the fire without being burned,
or without becoming acquainted with the little worm, vanity, which
has the habit of gnawing its way into everything. On such occasions, I
used to think to myself: They are all mistaken. Im not a saint, as
some say, and Im not a liar either, as others say. Only God knows
what I am. When I got home I would run to see Jacinta, who said:
Listen! Dont go away again. I have been so lonely for you! Since
you went away, I have not spoken to anyone. I dont know how to talk
to other people.
The time finally came for Jacinta to leave for Lisbon. I have
already described our leave taking, and therefore I wont repeat it
here. How sad I was to find myself alone! In such a short space of
time Our dear Lord had taken to Heaven my beloved father, and then
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Francisco; and now He was taking Jacinta, who I was never to see
again in this world. As soon as I could, I slipped away to the Cabeco,
and hid within our cave among the rocks. There, alone with God, I
poured forth my grief and shed tears in abundance. Coming back
down the slope, everything reminded me of my dear companions; the
stones on which we had so often sat, the flowers I no longer picked,
not having anyone to take them to; Valinhos, where the three of us had
enjoyed the delights of paradise! As though I had lost all sense of
reality, and still half abstracted, I went to my aunts house one day, and
made for Jacintas room, calling out to her. Her sister Teresa, seeing
me like that, barred the way and reminded me that Jacinta was no
longer there!
Shortly afterwards, news arrived that she had taken flight to
Heaven. Her body was then brought back to Vila Nova de Ourem. My
aunt took me there one day, to pray beside the mortal remains of her
little daughter, in the hope of thus distracting me. But for a long time
after, my sorrow only seemed to grow ever greater. Whenever I found
the cemetery open, I went and sat by Franciscos grave, or beside my
fathers and there I spent long hours. My mother, thank God, decided
some time later after this to go to Lisbon, and to take me with her.
Through the kindness of Dr. Formigao a good lady received us into
her house, and offered to pay for my education in a boarding school, if
I was willing to remain. My mother, after consulting doctors, found
that she needed an operation for kidneys and spinal column; but the
doctors would not be responsible for her life, since she also suffered
from a cardiac lesion. She therefore went home, leaving me in the care
of this lady. When everything was ready and the day arranged for my
entering boarding school, I was informed that the Government was
aware that I was in Lisbon and was seeking my whereabouts. They,
therefore, took me to Santarem to Dr. Formigaos house, and for some
days I remained hidden, without even being allowed out to Mass.
Finally, His Reverences sister arrived to take me home to my
mother, promising to arrange for my admittance to a boarding school
that the Dorothean Sisters had in Spain, and assuring us that as soon as
everything was settled, she would come and fetch me. All these
happenings distracted me somewhat, and so the oppressive sadness
began to disappear.
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Confirmation. The train left at two oclock in the afternoon, and there
I was at the station, giving my poor mother a last embrace, leaving her
overwhelmed with sorrow and shedding abundant tears. The train
moved out, and with it went my poor heart plunged in an ocean of
loneliness and filled with memories that I could never forget.
Epilogue
I think, Your Excellency, that I have just picked the most
beautiful flower and the most delicious fruit from my little garden, and
I now place it in the merciful hands of the Good Lord, whom you
represent, praying that He will make it yield a plentiful harvest of
souls for eternal life. And since Our dear Lord takes pleasure in the
humble obedience of the least of His creatures, I end with the words of
Her whom He, in His infinite mercy, has given me as Mother,
Protectress and Model, the very same words with which I began:
Behold the handmaid of the Lord! May He continue to make use of
her, as He thinks best.
Further Memories of Jacinta
P.S. I forgot to say that when Jacinta went to the hospital in Vila
Nova de Ourem and again in Lisbon, she knew she was not going to
be cured, but only to suffer. Long before anybody spoke to her of the
possibility of her entering the hospital of Vila Nova de Ourem, she
said one day: Our Lady wants me to go to two hospitals, not to be
cured, but to suffer more for the love of Our Lord and for sinners. I
do not know Our Ladys exact words in these apparitions to Jacinta
alone, for I never asked her what they were. I confined myself to
merely listening to what she occasionally confided to me. In this
account, I have tried not to repeat what I have written in the previous
one, so as not to make it too long.
Lucias Magnetic Personality
It may seem from this account that, in my village, nobody
showed me any love or tenderness. But this is not so. There was a dear
chosen portion of the Lords flock, who showed me singular affection.
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These were the little children. They ran up to me bubbling over with
joy, and when they knew I was pasturing my sheep in the
neighbourhood of our little village, whole groups of them used to
come and spend the day with me. My mother used to say: I dont
know what attraction you have for children! They run after you as if
they were going to a feast! As for myself, I did not feel at ease in the
midst of such merriment, and for that reason I tried to keep out of their
way.
The same thing happened to me with my companions in Vilar,
and I would almost venture to say that it is happening to me now with
my Sisters in religion. A few years ago, I was told by my Mother
Mistress, who is now Rev. Mother Provincial: You have such an
influence over the Sisters that if you want to you can do them a great
deal of good. And quite recently, Rev. Mother Superior in
Pontevedra said to me: To a certain degree, you are responsible to
Our Lord for the state of fervour or negligence in observance, on the
part of the other Sisters, because their fervour is increased or
diminished at recreation; whatever the others see you doing at that
time, they do as well. Certain topics you brought up at recreation
helped other Sisters to understand the Rule better, and made them
resolve to observe it more faithfully. Why is this? I dont know.
Perhaps it is a talent which the Lord has given me, and for which He
will hold me to account. Would that I knew how to trade with it, that I
might restore it to Him a thousand fold.
Lucias Excellent Memory
Maybe someone will want to ask: How can you remember all
this? How? I dont know. Our dear Lord, Who shares out His gifts as
He thinks fit, has allotted to me this little portionmy memory. He
alone knows why. And besides as far as I can see, there is this
difference between natural and supernatural things: When we are
talking to a mere creature, even while we are speaking, we tend to
forget what is being said; whereas these supernatural things are ever
more deeply engraved on the soul, even as we are seeing and hearing
them, so that it is not easy to forget them.
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Our Lady to show hell to all those people (referring to those who were
in Cova da Iria at the time of the Apparition). Youll see how they
will be converted. Afterwards, unsatisfied, she asked me: Why
didnt you tell Our Lady to show hell to all those people? I forgot I
answered. I didnt remember either! she said, looking very sad.
Sometimes, she also asked: What are the sins people commit,
for which they go to hell? I dont know! Perhaps the sin of not
going to Mass on Sunday, of stealing, of saying ugly words, of cursing
and of swearing. So for just one word, then, people can go to hell?
Well its a sin! It wouldnt be hard for them to keep quiet and go to
Mass! Im so sorry for sinners! If only I could show then hell.
Suddenly, she would seize hold of me and say: Im going to Heaven,
but you are staying here. If Our Lady lets you, tell every- body what
hell is like, so that they wont commit anymore sins and not go to
hell. To quieten her, I said: Dont be afraid! Youre going to
Heaven. Yes I am; she said serenely, but I want all those people
to go there too!
When in a spirit of mortification, she did not want to eat. I said
to her: Listen Jacinta! Come and eat now. No! Im offering this
sacrifice for sinners who eat too much. When she was ill, and yet
went to Mass on a week day, I urged her: Jacinta, dont come! You
cant, youre not able. Besides today is not Sunday! That doesnt
matter! Im going for sinners who dont go on a Sunday. If she
happened to hear any of those expressions which some people make, a
show of uttering, she covered her face with her hands and said: Oh,
my God, dont these people realize that they can go to hell for saying
those things? My Jesus, forgive them and convert them. They
certainly dont know that they are offending God by all this! What a
pity, my Jesus! Ill pray for them. There and then she repeated the
prayer that Our Lady taught us: Oh my Jesus, forgive us.
Lucia Looks Back
Now Your Excellency, another thought comes to my mind. I
have sometimes been asked if, in any Apparitions, Our Lady pointed
out to us which kind of sins offend God most. They say that Jacinta,
when in Lisbon, mentioned sins of the flesh. She had often questioned
me on this matter, and I think now, that when at Lisbon, perhaps it
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occurred to her to put the question to Our Lady herself, and that was
the answer she received. Well Your Excellency, it seems to me that I
have now made known the first part of the secret.
The Immaculate Heart Of Mary
The second part refers to the devotion to the Immaculate Heart
of Mary. As I have already written in the second account, Our Lady
told me on June 13th, 1917, that she would never forsake me, and that
Her Immaculate Heart would be my refuge and the way that would
lead me to God.
As She spoke these words, She opened Her hands, and from
them streamed a light that penetrated to our inmost hearts. I think that
on that day, I think the main purpose of this light was to infuse within
us a special knowledge and love of the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
just as on the other two occasions it was intended to do, as it seems to
me, with regard to God and the mystery to the most Holy Trinity.
From that day onwards, our hearts were filled with a more ardent love
for the Immaculate Heart of Mary. From time to time, Jacinta said to
me: The Lady said that Her Immaculate Heart will be your refuge
and the way that will lead you to God. Dont you love that? Her Heart
is so good! How I love it!
As I explained earlier, Our Lady told us, in the July secret, that
God wished to establish in the world devotion to her Immaculate
Heart, and that to prevent a future war, she would come to ask for the
consecration of Russia to Her Immaculate Heart, and for the
Communion of Reparation on the First Saturdays. From then on,
whenever we spoke of this among ourselves, Jacinta said: I am so
grieved to be unable to receive Communion in reparation for the sins
committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary!
I have also mentioned already how Jacinta chose the litany of
ejaculations which Father Cruz suggested to us, this one Sweet Heart
of Mary, be my salvation! After saying it, she used to add sometimes,
with the simplicity that was natural to her: I so love the Immaculate
Heart of Mary! It is the Heart of our dear Mother in Heaven! Dont
you love saying many times: sweet Heart of Mary, Immaculate Heart
of Mary?: I love it so much, so very much. At other times, as she
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gathered wild flowers, she sang a little tune that she made up herself
as she went along: Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation!
Immaculate Heart of Mary, convert sinners, save souls from hell!
Jacintas Visions Of The Holy Father
One day we spent our siesta down by my parents well. Jacinta
sat on the stone slabs on top of the well. Francisco and I climbed up a
steep bank in search of wild honey among the brambles in a nearby
thicket. After a little while, Jacinta called out to me: Didnt you see
the Holy Father? No. I dont know how it was, but I saw the Holy
Father in a very big house, kneeling by a table, with his head buried in
his hands, and he was weeping. Outside the house, there were many
people. Some of them were throwing stones, others were cursing him
and using bad language. Poor Holy Father, we must pray very much
for him. I have already told you, how one day two priests
recommended us to pray for the Holy Father, and explained to us who
the Pope was.
Afterwards Jacinta asked me: Is he the one I saw weeping, the
one Our Lady told us about in the secret? Yes, he is, I answered.
The Lady must have shown him also to those priests. You see, I was
not mistaken. We need to pray a lot for him. At another time, we
went to the cave called Lapa Cabeco. As soon as we got there, we
prostrated on the ground, saying the prayers the Angel had taught us.
After sometime, Jacinta stood up and called to me: Cant you see all
those highways and roads and fields full of people, who are crying
with hunger and have nothing to eat? And the Holy Father in a church
praying before the Immaculate Heart of Mary? And so many people
praying with him? Some days later, she asked me: Can I say that I
saw the Holy Father and all those people? No! Dont you see that
thats part of the secret? If you do theyll find out straight away. All
right! Then Ill say nothing at all.
Visions of War
One day, I went to Jacintas house to spend a little while with
her. I found her sitting on her bed, deep in thought. Jacinta, what are
you thinking about? About the war that is coming. So many people
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are going to die, and almost all of them are going to hell! Many homes
will be destroyed and many priests will be killed. Look I am going to
Heaven, and as for you, when you see the light which the Lady told us
would come one night before the war, you run up there too. Dont
you see that nobody can just run up to Heaven! Thats true, you
cannot! But dont be afraid! In Heaven I will be praying hard for you,
for the Holy Father, for Portugal, so that the war will not come here,
and for all the priests.
Your Excellency is not aware that a few years ago, God
manifested that sign, which astronomers chose to call an aurora
borealis. I dont know for certain, but I think if they investigated the
matter, they would discover that, in the form in which it appeared, it
could not possibly have been an aurora borealis. Be that as it may,
God made use of this to make me understand that His justice was
about to strike the guilty nations. For this reason, I began to plead
insistently for the Communion of Reparation on the First Saturdays,
and the consecration of Russia. My intention was to obtain mercy and
pardon, not only for the whole world but for Europe in particular.
When God, in His infinite mercy, made me feel that the terrible
moment was drawing near, Your Excellency may recall how,
whenever occasion offered, I took the opportunity of pointing out, I
still say that the prayer and penance which have been done in
Portugal, have not yet appeased the Divine Justice, for they have not
been accompanied by either contrition or amendment. I hope that
Jacinta is interceding for us in Heaven.
As I said in the notes I sent about the book called Jacinta, she
was most deeply impressed by some of the things revealed to us in the
secret. Such was the case with the vision of hell and the ruin of so
many souls who go there, or again, the future war with all its horrors
which seemed to be always present to her mind. These made her
tremble with fear. When I saw her deep in thought, and asked her:
Jacinta, what are you thinking about? She frequently replied:
About the war which is coming, and all the people who are going to
die and go to hell! How dreadful! If they would only stop offending
God, then there wouldnt be any war and they wouldnt go to hell!
Sometimes, she also said to me: I feel so sorry for you!
Francisco and I are going to Heaven, and youre going to stay here for
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a while longer. When the war comes, do not be afraid. In heaven, Ill
be praying for you. Shortly before she went to Lisbon, at one of those
times when she felt sad at the thought of our coming separation. I said
to her: Dont be upset because I cant go with you. You can then
spend your time thinking of Our Lady and Our Lord, and saying many
times over those words you love so much: My God, I love You!
Immaculate Heart of Mary, Sweet Heart of Mary and so on. Yes,
indeed she eagerly replied, Ill never get tired of saying those words
until I die! And then, I can sing them many times over in Heaven!
Lucia Explains Her Silence
It may be, Your Excellency, that some people think that I should
have made known all this some time ago, because they consider that it
would have been twice as valuable years beforehand. This would have
been the case if God had willed to present me to the world as a
prophetess. But I believe God had no such intention when He made
known these things to me. If that had been the case, I think that in
1917, when He ordered me to keep silent, and this order was
confirmed by those who represented Him, He would on the contrary,
have ordered me to speak.
I consider then, Your Excellency, that God willed only to make
use of me to remind the world that it is necessary to avoid sin, and to
make reparation to an offended God, by means of prayer and penance.
Where could I have hidden myself in order to escape from
innumerable questions they would have asked me about such matters?
Even now I am afraid, just thinking of what lies ahead of me! And I
must confess that my repugnance in making this known is so great
that, although I have before me the letter in which Your Excellency
orders me to write everything else that I can remember, and I feel
convinced that this is indeed the hour that God has chosen for my
doing this, I still hesitate and experience a real inner conflict, not
knowing whether to give you what I have written, or to burn it. As yet
I do not know what will be the outcome of the struggle. It will be as
God wills.
For me keeping silent has been a great grace. What would have
happened had I described hell? Being unable to find words which
exactly express the realityfor what I say is nothing and gives only a
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feeble idea of it all. I would therefore had said, now one thing, now
another, wanting to explain but not succeeding in doing so. I might
thus perhaps have caused such a confusion of ideas as even to spoil,
who knows, the work of God. For this reason, I give thanks to the
Lord, and I know that He does all things well. God usually
accompanies His revelations with an intimate and detailed
understanding of their significance. But I do not venture to speak of
this matter, for fear of being led astray, as can all too easily happen,
by my own imagination. Jacinta seemed to have this understanding to
quite a remarkable degree.
Jacinta and the Immaculate Heart of Mary
A little while before going to hospital, Jacinta said to me: It
will not be long now before I go to Heaven. You will remain here to
make known that God wishes to establish in the world devotion to the
Immaculate Heart of Mary. When you are to say this, dont go and
hide. Tell everybody that God grants us graces through the
Immaculate Heart of Mary; that people are to ask Her for them; and
that the Heart of Jesus wants the Immaculate Heart of Mary to be
venerated at His side. Tell them also to pray to the Immaculate Heart
of Mary for peace, since God has entrusted it to Her. If I could only
put into the hearts of all, the fire that is burning within my own heart,
and that makes me love the Hearts of Jesus and Mary so very much!
One day, I was given a holy picture of the Heart of Jesus, quite a
nice one, as man made pictures go. I took it to Jacinta: Do you want
this holy picture? She took it, looked at it attentively and remarked:
Its so ugly! It doesnt look like Our Lord at all. He is so beautiful!
But I want it; it is He just the same. She always carried it with her. At
night and during her illness, she kept it under her pillow, until it fell
apart. She kissed it frequently, saying: I kiss the Heart because I love
it most! How I would love to have a Heart of Mary! Dont you have
one? I would love to have the two together.
On another occasion, I brought her a picture of a chalice with a
host. She took it and kissed it and radiant with joy she exclaimed: It
is the Hidden Jesus! I love Him so much! If only I could receive Him
in Church! Dont they receive Holy Communion in Heaven? If they
do, then I will go to Holy Communion every day. If only the Angel
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Our dear Lord has seen fit to deprive me even of a cell, although
there are quite a few empty ones in the house. As a matter of fact, the
community room that we use for work and recreation would seem
more suitable for the fulfillment of His designs; but, just as it is
inconvenient for writing during the day, so it is all too conducive to
drowsiness at night time. But I am glad and I thank God for the grace
of having been born poor, and for living more poorly still for love of
him. Dear Lord! That is not at all that I wanted to say. I must return to
what God presented to me when I opened the New Testament.
In St. Pauls letter to the Philippians 2, 58, I read as follows;
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being
in the form of God, emptied Himself, taking the form of a
servant, He humbled Himself, becoming obedient unto death.
After reflecting a while, I read also verse 12 and 13 of the same
chapter: with fear and trembling work out your salvation. It is God
that works in you, both to will and to accomplish, according to His
good will.
Very well then. I need no more than this: obedience and abandonment
to God who works within me. I am truly no more than a poor and
miserable instrument which He desires to use, and in a little while,
like a painter who casts his now useless brush into the fire so that it
may be reduced to ashes, the divine Artist will Himself reduce his
now useless instrument to the ashes of the tomb, until the great day of
the eternal Alleluias. And I ardently desire that day, for the tomb does
not annihilate everything, and the happiness of eternal and infinite
love beginsnow!
Unction of the Spirit
Your Excellency,
In Valenca, on October 7th, 1941, I was asked the following
questions by Rev. Dr. Galamba: Sister, when you said that penance
had been done only in part, did you say this of yourself, or was it
revealed to you? I think, Your Excellency, that, in such cases, I never
speak or write anything at all that comes from myself alone. I have to
thank God for the assistance of the Divine Holy Spirit, whom I feel
within me, suggesting to me what I am to write or say. If, at times, my
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day, Francisco and Jacinta, or their brother John; in case of the latter, I
preferred the company of my former companion. My aunt had already
decided that, as it looked like rain, John should go. But Francisco
went to his mother again and insisted on going himself. He received a
curt and decided No! Whereupon he exclaimed: Its all the same
with me. it is Jacinta who felt badly about it.
Natural Inclinations
What Francisco enjoyed most, when we were out on the
mountains together, was to perch on the top of the highest rock and
sing or play his flute. If his little sister came down to run races with
me, he stayed up there entertaining himself with his music and song.
The song he sang most often went like this:
CHORUS
I love God in Heaven,
I love Him, too, on Earth,
I love the flowers of the fields,
I love the sheep on the mountains.
I am a poor shepherd girl,
I always pray to Mary;
In the midst of my flock
I am like the sun at noon.
Together with my lambkins
I learn to skip and jump;
I am the joy of the serra
And the lily of the vale.
He always took part in our games when we invited him, but he
seldom waxed enthusiastic, remarking: Ill go, but I know Ill be the
loser. These were the games we knew and found most entertaining:
Pebbles, Forfeits, Pass the Ring, Buttons, Hit the Mark, Quoits, and
card games such as The Bisca Game, Turning up the Kings, Queens
and Knaves, and so on. We had two packs of cards: I had one and they
had the other. Francisco liked best to play cards, and The Bisca was
his favourite game.
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CHORUS
Ah! tra la la la
Tra la la la
La la la!
In this life everything sings.
And who sings better than I?
The shepherdess out of serra,
Or the maid a-washing in the stream.
Theres the merry chirp of the goldfinch
That comes to awaken me,
As soon as the sun arises.
The brambles come alive with his song.
The screech owl cries at night
Seeking to frighten me,
The girl in the moonlight sings
As she gaily shucks the corn.
The nightingale in the meadow
Spends the whole day long in song,
The turtle dove sings in the wood,
Even the cart squeaks out a song!
The serra is a rock-strewn garden
Smiling happily all the day long,
Sparkling with gleaming dew drops
That glisten on the mountain side!
We sang it right through once, and were about to repeat it, when
Francisco interrupted us: Lets not sing anymore. Since we saw the
Angel and Our Lady, singing doesnt appeal to me any longer.
Impressions of the Second Apparition
At the second apparition on June 13th, 1917, Francisco was
deeply impressed by the light which, as I related to you in the second
account, Our Lady communicated to us at the moment when She said:
My Immaculate Heart will be your refuge and the way which will
lead you to God. At the time, he did not seem to grasp the
significance of what was happening. Perhaps it was because it was not
given to him to hear the accompanying words. For this reason, he
asked later: Why did Our Lady have a heart in Her hand, spreading
out over the world that great light which is God? You were with Our
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Lady in the light which went down towards the earth, and Jacinta was
with me in the light which rose towards heaven! That is because you
and Jacinta will soon go to Heaven, I replied. While I, with the
Immaculate Heart of Mary will remain for some time on the earth.
How many years longer will you stay here? he asked. I dont
know. Quite a lot. Was it Our Lady that said so? Yes, and I saw in
the light that She shone into our hearts.
Jacinta confirmed the very same thing saying: It is just so!
Thats exactly how I saw it too! He remarked sometimes: These
people are so happy just because you told them that Our Lady wants
the Rosary said, and that you are to learn to read! How would they
feel if they only knew what She showed us in God in Her Immaculate
Heart, in that great light! But this is a secret, it must not be spoken
about. Its better that no one should know it!
After this apparition, whenever they asked us if Our Lady had
said anything else, we began to give this reply: Yes She did, but its a
secret. If they asked us why it was a secret, we shrugged our
shoulders, lowered our heads and kept silent. But after July 13th, we
said: Our Lady told us we were not to tell it to anybody, thus
referring to the secret imposed on us by Our Lady.
Francisco Strengthens Lucias Courage
In the course of this month, the influx of people increased
considerably, and so did the constant questionings and contradictions.
Francisco suffered quite a lot from all this, and complained to his
sister saying: What a pity! If you had only kept quiet, no one would
know! If only it were not a lie we could tell all the people that we saw
nothing, and that would be the end of it. But this cant be done!
When he saw me perplexed and in doubt, he wept, and said: But how
can you think that it is the devil? Didnt you see Our Lady and God in
that great light? How can we go there without you, when it is you who
does the talking?
That night after supper he came back to my house, called me out
to the old threshing floor, and said: Look! Arent you going
tomorrow? I am not going. Ive already told you Im not going back
there anymore. But what a shame! Why is it that you now think that
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way? Dont you see that it cant be the devil? God is already sad
enough on account of so many sins and now if you dont go, Hell be
sadder still! Come on, say youll go! Ive already told you Im not
going. It is no use asking me. And I returned abruptly to the house. A
few days later, he said to me: You know I never slept at all that night.
I was the whole time crying and praying, begging Our Lady to make
you go!
Impressions of the Third Apparition
In the third apparition, Francisco seemed to be the one on whom
the vision of hell made the least impression, though it did indeed have
quite a considerable effect on him. What made the most powerful
impression on him and what wholly absorbed him, was God, the Most
Holy Trinity, perceived in that light which penetrated our inmost
souls. Afterwards he said: We were on fire in that light which is God
and yet we were not burnt! What is God? We could never put it
into words. Yes, that is something indeed which we could never
express! But what a pity it is that He is so sad! If only I could console
Him!
One day, I was asked if Our Lady had told us to pray for sinners,
and I said she had not. At the first opportunity, while the people were
questioning Jacinta, he called me aside and said: You lied just now!
How could you say that Our Lady didnt ask us to pray for sinners
then? For sinners, no! She told us to pray for peace, for the war to
end. But for sinners she told us to make sacrifices. Ah! Thats true. I
was beginning to think you had lied.
Francisco in Prison
I have already described how Francisco spent the day praying
and weeping, perhaps even more upset than I was when my father
received an order to present me before the administrator at Vila Nova
de Ourem. In prison, he was quite courageous and tried to cheer up
Jacinta when she felt most homesick. While we were saying the
Rosary in prison, he noticed that one of the prisoners was on his knees
with his cap still on his head. Francisco went up to him and said: If
you wish to pray, you should take your cap off. Right away the poor
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man handed it to him and he went over and put it on the bench on top
of his own.
During Jacintas interrogation, he confided to me with boundless
joy and peace: If they kill us as they say, well soon be in heaven!
How wonderful! Nothing else matters! Then after a moments silence
he added: God grant that Jacinta wont be afraid. I am going to say a
Hail Mary for her! He promptly removed his cap and prayed. The
guard seeing him praying, asked him: What are you saying? I am
saying a Hail Mary so that Jacinta wont be afraid. The guard made a
scornful gesture and let him go ahead.
One day after our return from Vila Nova Ourem, we began to be
aware of the presence of the supernatural all around us and to feel that
we were about to receive some heavenly communication. Francisco at
once showed his concern over Jacintas absence. What a pity it
would be, he exclaimed, if Jacinta did not get here in time! He
begged his brother to go quickly and get her, adding: Tell her to run
here. After his brother had left us, Francisco said: Jacinta will be
very sad if she doesnt arrive in time. After the apparition, his sister
wanted to stay there the whole afternoon, so he said: No! You must
go home because mother didnt let you come out with the sheep. And
to encourage her, he went back to the house with her.
In prison we noticed that it was already past midday, and that
they would not let us go to the Cova da Iria. Francisco said: Perhaps
Our Lady will come and appear to us here. On the following day, he
could not hide his distress and almost in tears, he said: Our Lady
must have been very sad because we didnt go to the Cova da Iria, and
She wont appear to us again. I would so love to see Her!
While in prison, Jacinta wept bitterly, for she was so homesick
for her mother and all the family. Francisco tried to cheer her saying:
Even if we never see our mother again, lets be patient! We can offer
it for the conversion of sinners. The worst thing would be if Our Lady
never came back again! That is what hurts me the most. But I offer
this as well for sinners. Afterwards he asked me: Tell me! Will Our
Lady not come and appear to us anymore? I dont know. I think She
will. I miss Her so much! The apparition at Valinhos was,
therefore a double joy for him. He had been tormented by the fear that
She would never return. He told me later: Most likely, She didnt
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say: Dont think so much about hell! Think about Our Lord and Our
Lady instead. I dont think about hell, so as not to be afraid.
He was anything but fearful. Hed go anywhere in the dark
alone at night, without the slightest hesitation. He played with lizards,
and when he came across snakes he got them to entwine themselves
round a stick, and even poured sheeps milk into the holes in the rocks
for them to drink. He went hunting for foxes, holes and rabbit
burrows, for genets, and other creatures of the wilds.
Francisco and His Feathered Friends
Francisco was very fond of birds and could not bear to see
anyone robbing their nests. He always kept part of the bread he had
for his lunch, breaking it into crumbs and spreading them out on top of
the rocks, so that the birds could eat them. Moving away a little, he
called them as though he expected them to understand him. He didnt
want anyone else to approach lest they be frightened. Poor wee
things! You are hungry, he said, as though conversing with them.
Come, come and eat! And they, keen-eyed as they are, did not wait
for the invitation, but came flocking around him. It was his delight to
see them flying back to the tree tops with their little craws full, singing
and chirping in a deafening chorus, in which Francisco joined with
rare skill.
One day we met a little boy carrying in his hand a small bird
that he caught. Full of compassion, Francisco promised him two coins,
if only he would let the birds fly away. The boy readily agreed. But
first he wished to see the money in his hand. Francisco ran all the way
home from the Carreira pond, which lies a little distance below the
Cova da Iria, to fetch the coins, and so let the little prisoner free. Then
he watched it fly away, he clapped his hands for joy, and said: Be
careful! Dont let yourself be caught again.
Thereabouts lived an old woman called Ti Maria Carreira,
whose sons sent her out sometimes to take care of her flock of goats
and sheep. The animals were rather wild, and often strayed in different
directions. Whenever we met Ti Maria in these straits, Francisco was
the first to run to her aid. He helped her to lead the flock to pasture,
chased after the stray ones and gathered them together again. The poor
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old woman overwhelmed Francisco with her thanks and called him
her dear guardian angel. When we came across any sick people, he
was filled with compassion and said: I cant bear to see them, as I
feel so sorry for them! Tell them Ill pray for them.
One day, they wanted to take us to Montelo to the home of a
man called Joaquim Chapeleta. Francisco did not want to go. Im not
going, because I cant bear to see people who want to speak and
cannot. (The mans mother was dumb.) When Jacinta and I returned
home at nightfall, I asked my aunt where Francisco was. How do I
know! she replied. I am worn out looking for him all afternoon.
Some ladies came and wanted to see you. But you two were not here.
He vanished, and never appeared again. Now you go and look for
him! We sat down for a bit on a bench in the kitchen, thinking that
we would go later to the Loca do Cabeco, certain that we would find
him there. But no sooner had my aunt left the house, than his voice
came from the attic through a little hole in the ceiling. He had climbed
up there when he thought that some people were coming. From this
vantage point he had observed everything that happened, and told us
afterwards: There were so many people! Heaven help me if they had
ever caught me by myself! Whatever would I have said to them.
(There was a trapdoor in the kitchen, which was easily reached by
placing a chair on a table, thus affording access to the attic.)
Franciscos Love and Zeal
As I have already said, my aunt sold her flock before my mother
disposed of ours. From then onwards, before I went out in the
morning, I let Jacinta and Francisco know the place where I was going
to pasture the sheep that day; as soon as they could get away, they
came to join me.
One day, they were waiting for me when I arrived. Oh! How
did you get here so early? I came, answered Francisco, becauseI
dont know whybeing with you didnt matter so much to me before,
and I just came because of Jacinta, but now I cant sleep in the
morning as Im so anxious to be with you. Once the apparitions on
each 13th of the month were over, he said to us on the eve of the
following 13th: Look! Early tomorrow morning, Im making my
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escape out through the back garden to the cave on the Cabeco. As
soon as you can, come and join me there.
Oh dear! There I was, writing things about his being sick and
near to death, and now I see that I have gone back to the happy times
we had on the serra, with the birds chirping away merrily all around
us. I ask your forgiveness. In writing down what I can remember, I am
like a crab that walks backwards and forwards without bothering
about reaching the end of its journey. I leave my work to Dr.
Galamba, in case he can make use of anything in it, though I suppose
he will find little or nothing.
I return therefore to Franciscos illness. But first, I will tell you
something about his brief schooling. He came out of the house one
day and met me with my sister Teresa, who was already married and
living in Lomba. Another woman from a nearby hamlet had asked her
to come to me about her son who had been accused of some crime of
which I no longer remember, and if he could not prove his innocence
he was to be condemned, either to exile or to a term of some years
imprisonment. Teresa asked me insistently, in the name of the poor
woman for whom she wished to do such a favour, to plead for this
grace with Our Lady. Having received the message, I set out for
school, and on the way, I told my cousins all about it. When we
reached Fatima, Francisco said to me: Listen! While you go to
school, Ill stay with the Hidden Jesus, and Ill ask Him for that
grace. When I came out of school, I went to call him and asked: Did
you pray to Our Lord to grant that grace? Yes, I did. Tell your
Teresa that hell be home in a few days time. And indeed, a few
days later, the poor boy returned home. On the 13th, he and his entire
family came to thank Our Lady for the grace they had received.
On another occasion I noticed, as we left the house, that
Francisco was walking very slowly: Whats the matter? I asked him.
You seem unable to walk! Ive such a bad headache, and I feel as
though I am going to fall. Then dont come. Stay at home! I dont
want to. Id rather stay in the church with the Hidden Jesus, while you
go to school. Francisco was already sick, but could still manage to
walk a little, so one day I went with him to the cave on the Cabeco,
and to Valinhos. On our return home, we found the house full of
people. A poor women was standing near a table, pretending to bless
innumerable pious objects: rosary beads, medals, crucifixes and so on.
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bend in a road. In order the better to see and hear us, they sent Jacinta
and myself on top of a wall. Francisco refused to let himself be put
there, as though he was afraid of falling. Then, little by little, he edged
his way out and leaned against a dilapidated wall on the opposite side.
A poor woman and her son, seeing that they could not manage to
speak to us personally, as they wished, went and knelt down in front
of Francisco. They begged him to obtain from Our Lady the grace that
the father of the family would be cured and that he would not have to
go to the war. Francisco knelt down also, took off his cap and asked if
they would like to pray the Rosary with him. They said they would,
and began to pray. Very soon, all those people stopped asking curious
questions, and also went down on their knees to pray. After that, they
went with us to the Cova da Iria, reciting a Rosary along the way.
Once there, we said another Rosary, and then they went away, quite
happy.
The poor woman promised to come back and thank Our Lady
for the graces she had asked for, if they were granted. She came back
several times, accompanied not only by her son but also her husband,
who had by now recovered. They came from the parish of St.
Mamede, and we called them the Casaleiros.
Franciscos Illness
While he was ill, Francisco always appeared joyful and content.
I asked him sometimes: Are you suffering a lot Francisco? Quite a
lot, but never mind! I am suffering to console Our Lord, and then
afterwards, within a short time, I am going to heaven! Once you get
there, dont forget to ask Our Lady to take me there soon as well.
That, I wont ask! You know very well that She doesnt want you
there yet.
The day before he died, he said to me: Look! I am very ill; it
wont be long now before I go to heaven. Then listen to this. When
youre there, dont forget to pray a great deal for sinners, for the Holy
Father, for me and for Jacinta. Yes, Ill pray. But look, youd better
ask Jacinta to pray for these things instead, because Im afraid Ill
forget when I see Our Lord. And then, more than anything else I want
to console Him.
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One day, early in the morning, his sister Teresa came looking
for me. Come quickly to our house! Francisco is very bad, and says
he wants to tell you something. I dressed as fast as I could and went
over there. He asked his mother and brothers and sisters to leave the
room, saying that he wanted to ask me a secret. They went out, and he
said to me: I am going to confession so that I can receive Holy
Communion, and then die. I want you to tell me if you have seen me
commit any sin, and then go and ask Jacinta if she has seen me
commit any. You disobeyed your mother a few times, I answered,
when she told you to stay at home, and you ran off to be with me or
to go and hide. Thats true. I remember that. Now go and ask Jacinta
if she remembers anything else.
I went, and Jacinta thought for a while, then answered: Well,
tell him that, before Our Lady appeared to us, he stole a coin from our
father to buy a music box from Jose Marto of Casa Velha; and when
the boys from Aljustrel threw stones at those from Boleiros, he threw
some too! When I gave him this message from his sister, he
answered: Ive already confessed those, but Ill do it again. Maybe, it
is because of these sins that I committed that Our Lord is so sad! But
even if I dont die, Ill never commit them again. Im heartily sorry for
them now. Joining his hands, he recited the prayer: O my Jesus,
forgive us, save us from the fire of hell, lead all souls to heaven,
especially those who are most in need.
Then he said: Now listen, you must also ask Our Lord to
forgive me my sins. Ill ask that, dont worry. If Our Lord had not
forgiven them already, Our Lady would not have told Jacinta the other
day that She was coming to take you to heaven. Now, Im going to
Mass, and there Ill pray to the Hidden Jesus for you. Then, please
ask Him to let the parish priest give me Holy Communion. I
certainly will. When I returned from the church, Jacinta had already
gotten up and was sitting on his bed. As soon as Francisco saw me, he
asked: Did you ask the Hidden Jesus that the parish priest would give
me Holy Communion? I did. Then, in heaven, Ill pray for you.
You will? The other day you said you wouldnt! That was about
taking you there very soon. But if you want me to pray for that, I will,
and then let Our Lady do as She wishes. Yes, do. You pray.
Alright. Dont worry, Ill pray.
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Then I left them, and went off to my usual daily lessons and
work. When I came home at night, I found him radiant with joy. He
had made his confession, and the parish priest had promised to bring
him Holy Communion next day. On the following day, after receiving
Holy Communion, he said to his sister: I am happier than you are,
because I have the Hidden Jesus in my heart. Im going to heaven, but
Im going to pray very much to Our Lord and Our Lady for them to
bring you both here soon. Jacinta and I spent almost the whole of that
day at his bedside. As he was already unable to pray, he asked us to
pray the Rosary for him. Then he said to me: I am sure I shall miss
you terribly in heaven. If only Our Lady would bring you there soon,
also! You wont miss me! Just imagine! And you right there with
Our Lord and Our Lady! They are so good! Thats true! Perhaps, I
wont remember! Then I added: Perhaps youll forget! But never
mind!
Franciscos Holy Death
That night I said goodbye to him. Goodbye, Francisco! If you
go to heaven tonight, dont forget me when you get there, do you hear
me? No, I wont forget. Be sure of that. Then seizing my right
hand, he held it tightly for a long time, looking at me with tears in his
eyes. Do you want anything more? I asked him, with tears running
down my cheeks too. No! he answered in a low voice, quite
overcome.
As the scene was becoming so moving, my aunt told me to leave
the room. Goodbye then, Francisco! Till we meet in heaven,
goodbye! Heaven was drawing near. He took his flight to heaven the
following day in the arms of his heavenly Mother. I could never
describe how much I missed him. This grief was a thorn that pierced
my heart for years to come. It is a memory of the past that echoes
forever unto eternity.
Twas night: I lay peacefully dreaming
That on this festive longed-for day
Of heavenly union, the Angels above
Vied with us here in holy emulation!
What golden crown beyond all telling,
What garland of flowers garnered here below
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thorns which pierced it. We understood that this was the Immaculate
Heart of Mary outraged by the sins of humanity, and seeking
reparation. You know now, Your Excellency, what we referred to
when we said that Our Lady had revealed a secret to us in June. At the
time, Our Lady did not tell us to keep it a secret, but we felt moved to
do so by God.
The 13th of July, 1917
A few moments after arriving at the Cova da Iria, near the
holmoak, where a large number of people were praying the Rosary,
we saw the flash of light once more and a moment later, Our Lady
appeared on the holmoak. What do You want of me? I asked. I
want you to come here on the 13th of next month, to continue to pray
the Rosary every day in honour of Our Lady of the Rosary, in order to
obtain peace for the world and the end of the war, because only She
can help you.
I would like to ask You to tell us who You are, and to work a
miracle so that everybody will believe that You are appearing to us.
Continue to come here every month. In October, I will tell you who I
am and what I want, and I will perform a miracle for all to see and
believe. I then made some requests, but I cannot recall now just what
they were. What I do remember is that Our Lady said it was necessary
for such people to pray the Rosary in order to obtain these graces
during the year. And She continued: Sacrifice yourself for sinners,
and say many times especially whenever you make some sacrifice O
Jesus, it is for love of You, for the conversion of sinners, and in
reparation for the sins against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
As Our Lady spoke these last words, She opened Her hands
once more, as She had done during the two previous months. The rays
of light seemed to penetrate the earth and we saw as it were a sea of
fire. Plunged in this fire were demons and souls in human form, like
transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze,
floating about in the conflagration, now raised into the air by the
flames that issued from within themselves together with great clouds
of smoke, now falling back on every side like sparks in huge fires,
without weight or equilibrium, amid shrieks and groans of pain and
despair, which horrified us and made us tremble with fear. (It must
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have been the sight that caused me to cry out, as people say they heard
me). The demons could be distinguished by their terrifying and
repellent likeness to frightful and unknown animals, black and
transparent like burning coals.
Terrified and as if to plead for succor, we looked up at Our
Lady, who said to us kindly but so sadly: You have seen hell, where
poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to establish in the world
devotion to My Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many
souls will be saved and there will be peace. The war is going to end;
but if people do not cease offending God, a worse one will break out
during the pontificate of Puis X1. When you see a night illumined by
an unknown light, know that this is the great sign given you by God
that He is about to punish the world for its crimes, by means of war,
famine and persecutions of the Church and of the Holy Father. To
prevent this, I shall come to ask for the consecration of Russia to My
Immaculate Heart, and the Communion of Reparation on the First
Saturdays. If My requests are heeded, Russia will be converted, and
there will be peace, if not she will spread her errors throughout the
world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be
martyred, the Holy Father will have much to suffer, various nations
will be annihilated, in the end My Immaculate Heart will triumph. The
Holy Father will consecrate Russia to me and She will be converted,
and a period of peace will be granted to the world.
In Portugal the dogma of the Faith will always be preserved
ectDo not tell this to anybody. Francisco, yes, you may tell him.
When you pray the Rosary, say after each mystery: O my Jesus,
forgive us, save us from the fire of hell. Lead all souls to Heaven,
especially those who are most in need After this, there was a
moment of silence, and then I asked: Is there anything more you
want of me? No. I do not want anything more of you today. Then
as before Our Lady began to ascend towards the east, until She finally
disappeared in the immense distance of the firmament.
The 13th of August, 1917
As I have already said what happened on this day, I will not
delay over it here, but pass on to the Apparition which in my opinion
took place on the 15th, in the afternoon. As at that time I did not yet
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For the love of God, ask Our Lady to cure my son who is a
cripple! Yet another cried out: And to cure mine who is blindTo
cure mine who is deaf! To bring back my husband, my son, who has
gone to the war!To convert a sinner!To give me back my health
as I have tuberculosis! And so on. All the afflictions of poor
humanity were assembled there. Some climbed up to the tops of trees
and walls to see us go by, and shouted down to us. Saying yes to
some, giving a hand to others and helping them up from the dusty
ground, we managed to move forward, thanks to some gentleman who
went ahead and opened a passage for us through the multitude.
Now when I read the New Testament about those enchanting
scenes of Our Lords passing through Palestine, I think of those which
Our Lord allowed me to witness, while yet a child, on the poor roads
and lanes from Aljustrel to Fatima and on to the Cova da Iria! I give
thanks to God, offering Him the faith of our good Portuguese people,
and I think: If these people so humbled themselves before three poor
children, just because they were mercifully granted the grace to speak
to the Mother of God, what would they not do if they saw Our Lord
Himself in person before them? Well, none of this was called for
here! It was a distraction of my pen, leading me away where I did not
want to go. But, never mind! Its just another useless digression. I am
not tearing it out, so to spoil the notebook.
At last, we arrived at the Cova da Iria, and on reaching the
holmoak we began to say the Rosary with the people. Shortly
afterwards, we saw the flash of light, and then Our Lady appeared on
the holmoak. Continue to pray the Rosary in order to obtain the end
of the war. In October Our Lord will come, as well as Our Lady of
Doloures and Our Lady of Carmel. Saint Joseph will appear with the
Child Jesus to bless the world. God is pleased with your sacrifices. He
does not want you to sleep with the rope on, but only to wear it during
the daytime. I was told to ask you many things, the cure of some
sick people, of a deaf-mute Yes, I will cure some, but not others.
In October I will perform a miracle so that all may believe. Then Our
Lady began to rise as usual, and disappeared.
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Epilogue
Here then, Your Excellency, you have the story of the
Apparitions of Our Lady in the Cova da Iria in 1917. Whenever and
for whatever motive I speak of them, I sought to do so in a few words
as possible, with the desire of keeping to myself alone those more
intimate aspects which were so difficult for me to reveal. But as they
belong to God and not to me, and as He now through Your
Excellency, requires them of me, here they are. I return what does not
belong to me. To the best of my knowledge, I keep nothing back!
I think I have only omitted some minor details referring to the
petitions which I made. As these were merely material things, I did
not attach such great importance to them, and it is perhaps because of
this that they did not make such a vivid impression on my mind; and
then there were so many of them, so very many! It was possibly
because I was so anxious to remember the innumerable graces that I
had to ask of Our Lady, that I was mistaken when I understood that
the war would end on that very 13th.
Not a few people have expressed considerable surprise at the
memory that God has deigned to give me. In this matter indeed I have,
through His infinite goodness, been quite favoured in every respect.
Where supernatural things are concerned, this is not to be wondered
at, for these are imprinted on the mind in such a way that it is almost
impossible to forget them. At least, the meaning of what is made
known is never forgotten, unless it be that God also wills that this too
be forgotten.
Notes On Fr. Fonsecas Book
Prologue
Now, Your Excellency, it is time to comment on the book Our
Lady of Fatima by Rev. Fr. Luis Gonzaga Aires de Fonseca, S. J. Rev
de Galamba told me to make a note of anything which I found in the
book that was not quite exact. I have only found a few small details,
which are hardly worth mentioning. But as there is question of writing
book, and as Your Excellency so desires it, I shall note these things
down to prevent them being repeated.
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Annotations
In Chapter II, page 18 it says, A small piece of uncultivated
ground. Wholly uncultivated, no. In the Cova we grew maize,
potatoes, beans, wheat, etc.--whatever was being sown at the time.
On the slope which goes up to the spot where we happened to be
playing, was the criss- crossed by numerous tracks and furrows,
leaving only one path way. On the extreme left on the way up,
these tracks were formed by rows of holmoaks, both large and
small all growing at random, and which together with the furze
bushes formed dense thickets, making it difficult to get through.
Taking the pathway on the right side going down, we went
towards the large holmoak tree, and thus the small one was well to
the left of us.
A little further back, in the same paragraph, it stated 'the
second flash rooted us to the spot where we were'. This also is
inexact. We saw it when we were half way down the slope which
runs from the place of the Apparitions to the top of the hill, just
before we reached the big holmoak. We kept on going until we
came face to face with Our Lady on the small holmoak.
On the same page 19, it also says 'Amazed, they wished to
flee'. This is also incorrect. I think I have already explained this in
another account. As soon as we saw Our Lady, we never gave
another thought to running away. Our Lady does not cause fear,
but only surprise, peace and joy. When we said we had been
afraid, we were referring to the fear we felt at the thought of a
coming thunder storm, and that was why we wanted to run. I
think that when Our Lady told us not to be afraid, She wanted to
calm our fears of the thunder storm that we supposed was coming,
for we were used to seeing lightening only when there was a
storm. In our ignorance, we were as yet unable to distinguish
between the flash of light and the lightening.
Chapter II, page 20, says 'Almost the same length as the
dress' I think this 'almost' should be eliminated because it was the
same length. In the same Chapter II, page 21, it says 'what have
You come to do here'? I do not remember asking that question.
Chapter III, page 29 states: 'She then confided a secret to them
and strictly forbade them to reveal it.' As I have already said
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school was just for boys. It was only later that a school was opened
in Fatima for girls.
Interrogation by the Author Antero de Figueiredo
Chapter XIII, page 58, states in the note. 'Rev. Mother
Monfalim was present at all the authors interviews with Sister
Dores'. This is not true. Only Dr. Antero de Figueiredo's
daughter, who accompanied him, was present. Mother Monfalim,
who was then my Provincial Superior, was in Tuy. From there,
she wrote me a letter which she sent, unsealed by Dr. Antero de
Figueiredo to Pontevedra, where I then was. There the
interrogation took place, and it was one of those difficult
interrogations that God has made me undergo.
In this letter, Rev. Mother Provincial ordered me to answer
with sincerity, truthfulness and simplicity, everything that Dr.
Antero de Figueiredo wished to ask me. She requested that I offer
to God this act of obedience. Before handing me the letter, he read
it. The order given me, that under obedience I was to answer
everything with sincerity, pleased him; he judged that he could
therefore, put to me any question whatsoever that his mind might
advise. As if that were not enough, he had his daughter's head
beside him, ready to conjure up more questions.
For my part, I was not slow in realizing how far he intended
to go with his interrogation. I asked myself if I would now have to
reveal my most intimate secrets, those which I had so far kept
with such great care, and reveal them moreover to a lay man, who
seemed to me not only to know nothing about the spiritual life, but
not even to understand the bare essentials of the practice of the
Christian life. To avoid making rash judgments and in order to be
sure on how things stood, I tried to phrase my answers precisely
in such away as to draw from him an admission of the truth. In
fact he was deeply moved, and confessed more than once with
tears streaming down his cheeks, the black spot of his sorry life.
Afterwards, I regretted having given occasion for such sad
avowals, but it was then too late. In spite of begging him not to
make known to me such things, of which I knew little or nothing,
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his emotional state was such that he could not refrain from doing
so, and I had to resign myself to listen to it all.
Meanwhile I was thinking 'Have I to manifest my intimate
secrets to this man? Impossible!' And what about obedience? I
don't know!' The local Mother Superior had received orders to be
present at the interrogation. But, not wanting such a
responsibility, she had excused herself owing to lack of time, and
had withdrawn. I then asked to leave the room for a moment, and
I went to place my doubts before her and ask her advice. Mother
Superior replied that in view of Mother Provincial's order she
didn't know how to advise me.
I then asked to speak to the confessor but he was absent, and
nobody knew when he was due to return. I went to the chapel. I
offered a brief prayer to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and to
Our Lady and then returned to the parlor once more. The
interrogation began again, and it was of such a kind as to draw
out of me all that I kept locked within my heart. But the
repugnance I felt at the thought of revealing it only increased, and
the struggle between this and the doubt as to whether or not
obedience obliged me to reveal grew stronger and stronger. I soon
discovered that the good man sought to study me in depth.
The first and second day over, we reached the third day of
the interrogation, and I became more and more perplexed. On the
afternoon of the third day, it seemed that God willed to grant me a
ray of His light. From the parlor I heard a voice in the hallway,
that of a Jesuit Priest whom I had known in Tuy. Rev. Dr.
Herrera. Without loss of time, I asked to leave the room for a
moment, and made my way to Mother Superior to ask permission
to speak to him. Right then, I wanted nothing further from His
Reverence than he would tell me how far obedience obliged me to
manifest myself.
But God wanted sacrifice! Did He not also find Himself
alone in the Garden of Olives? And is He not still alone in so many
abandoned Tabernacles? We must keep Him company and
remain at His side, not only in the breaking of the bread, but also
in the drinking of the chalice. It was certainly through this
dispensation of the Almighty that Rev. Mother Superior refused
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who had just returned that very day, and firmly told the
interrogator that he was absolutely forbidden to publish or make
known anything whatsoever of all that I had told him, without the
express approbation of your Excellency and the Rev. Mother
Provincial.
The good gentleman was by no means pleased with such a
proposition, and did everything he could to persuade me to revoke
it. I saw that I would be obliged to take a firm stand.
Strengthened, however, by the Devine Holy Spirit, I stood firm
right to the end. You know now, Your Excellency, what happened
during Dr. Antero de Figueiredo's interrogation. As you can see,
this was the time I felt most keenly that God alone was with me.
During the interrogation, there was yet another doubt that
tormented me, and that was the absence of any authorization on
the part of Your Excellency. I asked myself: "did Rev. Mother
provincial ask the Bishop's permission before she gave me this
order? Would his Excellency be happy to have me subjected to
such an interrogation without his authorization? and what about
the order His Excellency gave me that I am not to speak about
these things?" It was because of all these doubts that I wrote a full
account of the whole affair to Your Excellency. The good Lord
was pleased to permit that I received no answer to my letter, and I
therefore left the whole matter in God's hands.
Final Annotations
Chapter VII, page 77, reads as follows: 'The little shepherd
arrived, rather better dressed than usual. The little girls wore sky
blue dresses, with white veils and wreaths of flowers on their
heads ect.' I think that this is incorrect. I seem to recall that a lady
did indeed appear and she wished to dress us up like that, but we
refused. What I do remember well about that particular day is
that I arrived home without my plaits, which I wore down to my
waist, and that my mother was most upset when she saw that I
had even less hair than Francisco. Who stole my plaits? I dont
know.
Amid the crush of such a multitude, there was no lack of
scissors or thieving hands. It was easy enough to loose my
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living room, they played pebbles, using crab apples, chestnuts, sweet
acorns, dried figs and so on, all which my aunt was only too happy to
supply, so that her little girl might enjoy the childrens company.
She prayed the Rosary with them, and counseled them not to
commit sin, and so avoiding offending the Lord our God and going to
hell, and seemed very happy in her company. but once they had left
her presence, they did not dare to go back in the trusting way so
natural to children. Sometimes they came in search of me, begging me
to go in with them, or they waited for me outside the house, or they
waited at the door until my aunt or Jacinta herself invited them in to
see her. They seemed to like her and enjoy her company, but they felt
themselves held back by a certain shyness or respect that kept them
somewhat at a distance.
Jacinta Model Of Virtue
Grown-ups also went to visit her. They showed clearly how
much they admired her demeanor, which was always the same,
always patient, without being in the least demanding or
complaining. Whatever the position in which she was lying when
her mother left her, this was how she remained. If they asked her
whether she felt better, she answered: "I'm just the same," or "I
think I'm worse, thank you very much." There was an air of
sadness about her, as she lay silent in the presence of visitors.
People stayed sitting by her bedside for long periods at a stretch,
and looked as though they felt happy to be there. It was there also
that Jacinta had to undergo detailed and exhausting
interrogations. She never showed the slightest impatience or
repugnance, but merely told me later: "My head aches so much
after listening to all those people! Now that I cannot run away and
hide, I offer more of these sacrifices to Our Lord."
The neighbours sometimes brought along clothes they were
making, so that they could sit and sew by her bedside. "I'll work a
little beside Jacinta," they would say; "I don't know what it is
about her, but it is good to be with her." They brought their little
ones along too. The children amused themselves by playing with
Jacinta, and their mothers were thus left free to do their sewing.
When people asked her questions, she answered in a friendly
manner, but briefly.
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along too. I asked my aunt and she agreed, and so all three of us
went to Moita.
After dinner, Jacinta was so sleepy that her little head began
to nod. Mr. Jose Alves sent one of his nieces to go and put her to
bed. In just a short while, she fell fast asleep. The people of the
little hamlet began to gather in order to spend the afternoon with
us. They were so anxious to see Jacinta that they peeped in to see
if she were awake.
They were filled with wonder when they saw that, although
in a deep sleep, she had a smile on her lips, the look of an angel,
and her little hands joined and raised to towards heaven. The
room was soon filled with curious people. Everyone wanted to see
her, but those inside were in no hurry to come out and make room
for the others.
Mr. Jose Alves, his wife and his nieces all said: "This must
be an angel." Overcome, as it were, with awe, they remained
kneeling beside the bed until, about half-past four, I went to call
her, so that we could all go and pray the Rosary in the Cova da
Iria and then returned home. Mr. Jose Alves' nieces are the
Caetano girls mentioned above.
Francisco was Different
In contrast to Jacinta, Francisco was quite different. He had an
easy manner, and was always friendly and smiling, playing with all
the children without distinction. He did not rebuke anybody. All he
did was to go aside, whenever he saw anything that was not as it
should be. If he was asked why he went away, he answered: Because
youre not good, or Because I dont want to play any more.
During his illness, the children ran in and out of his room with
the greatest, freedom talked to him through the window and asked him
if he was feeling better, and so forth. If he was asked whether he
wanted some of the children to stay with him and keep him company,
he used to say that he preferred not, as he liked to be alone. He would
say to me sometimes: I just like having you here, and Jacinta too.
When grown-ups came to see him, he remained silent, only answering
when directly questioned, and then in as few words as possible.
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death, the son went for the last time to ask pardon of his father, who
had previously refused it because his son would not submit to the
conditions imposed.
The boy accepted everything that the father demanded, and
peace reigned once again in that home. The boys sister, Leocadia by
name, later married a brother of Jacinta and Francisco and became the
mother of their niece, whom Your Excellency met in Cova da Iria
when she was about to enter the Dorotheans.
A Wonderful Cure
Furthermore, Rev. Galamba has asked me to write down any
other favour that may have been obtained by means of Jacinta. I have
given the matter some thought and can recall only two instances. I
spoke of Senhora Emilia in the second account of Jacinta. The first
time that this kind of lady came to take me to the priests house in
Olival, Jacinta went there with me. When we reached the village
where that good widow lived, it was already night. In spite of this,
news of our arrival quickly spread abroad, and Senhora Emilias
house was soon surrounded by a crowd of people. They all wanted to
see us, question us, ask for graces, and so on.
It happened that a certain devout woman from a little village
nearby was accustomed to recite the Rosary in her own home, in
company with any of the neighbours who wished to join her. She,
therefore, invited us to go and pray the Rosary in her house. We
sought to excuse ourselves, explaining that we were going to say it
with Senora Emilia, but she spoke so insistently that there was nothing
to do but to yield to her request. When the news went round that we
were going there, crowds of people hurried to the good womans
house in the hope of securing a good place. This was all the better for
us, since we found the road comparatively free.
On our way to the house, a girl about twenty years old came out
to meet us. Weeping, she knelt down, and begged us to enter her
house and say at least one Hail Mary for the recovery of her father,
who for three years had been unable to take any rest, on her account of
continual hiccoughs. In such circumstances, it was impossible to
resist. I helped the poor girl to her feet. As it was already late into the
night, and we were finding our way along by the light of lanterns, I
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